Oh Me Of Little Faith

She moved to NYC with her new husband six months ago. She needed to get a job and provide for her family back home in Nigeria. She wanted to stay long enough to become a citizen and bring her mom and younger siblings to America. She got into nursing school and thought she might become a nurse. She did not plan to have a baby.

Last Friday, after the group session and her sonogram, I brought Victoria* into a counselling room, sat down, looked her in the eye, and asked her how she was doing and what was going through her head. She looked at me with her big, brown, African eyes and began to cry. "I can't have this baby, I can't have this baby!" she repeated over and over. "I've already made up my mind, I can't have this baby," then she wiped her eyes. "Why are you crying then? Do you want this baby?" I asked. She was quiet. I looked down at her paper work and saw that she had already had two abortions in Africa. I also saw that she was Pentecostal and went to church weekly. I then preceded to tell her that God loved her and that He loved her baby. I told her that God can forgive any mistake and sometimes her blesses us with second and third chances.

For the next hour or more we sat in the room speaking now and then about how God feels about abortion, how her husband told her she had to get an abortion because he couldn't provide for a baby, how she felt alone as a new comer in this Big Apple and had no support system without her mother. But mostly we were silent. There are no magic or right words to say that will convince a woman to keep her baby. What she really needs is love, a listening ear, clear advise, and most importantly, peace and quiet. After a while, she stopped crying and I told her that she could stay and sit and think in the office for as long as she would like. I also told her that everything I said to her was not at all coming from a place of judgement, but was simply a plea for life on behave of her baby who didn't yet have a voice and was at risk of never getting the chance to thank her for giving him life. I walked out thinking, "Well, it was a good shot, but I doubt she will keep her baby. After all, women who have already had abortions are harder to turn around." Oh me of little faith...

At 9:45 on Monday morning, in walks Victoria wearing white nurse's scrubs and a smile. "I'm keeping my baby!" she said. I was so overjoyed and shocked not only to see her but to hear those words come from her mouth that I almost cried. Victoria now has a supportive husband, a forthcoming nursing career, and a happy baby on the way!

*name has been changed