Wednesday, July 28, 2010

"But just look at his face!"

Sometimes we get girls in our offices who have small children and find themselves pregnant again but can’t understand why. That was the case of one girl who came in to our South Bronx office last week. She is 19 years old, has a 3 year old daughter and an 8 month old son and is 10 weeks pregnant.

She came in and said to us that she could afford the first baby and that she second one wasn’t much harder but that she absolutely could not afford a third child. Now, whether or not this has anything to do with welfare only supporting up to 2 children is beyond me. All I know is that there was no way on God’s good earth that she would have another baby.


After counseling her for a couple of hours and having more than one counselor working with her she was still set on having an abortion. Meanwhile, the whole time I was talking to her I was holding her 8 month old son, happily bouncing him on my knees.


I turned him toward her and said, "But just look as his face! Why wouldn’t you want another one just as sweet?" She smiled, clearly she was wrapped around his little finger, but shook her head. She put her hand on her stomach and said I’m sorry but I just can’t do it.


Sometimes, after going over all the options with a mother they still choose abortion. It breaks my heart to watch them walk out that door wondering, “What else could I have said?” or, “What if I had tried just a little bit harder."


When she walked out of our center with her baby on her hip I sadly waved good bye to all three of them. I waved good bye to a woman who is going to suffer the physical, emotion, and psychological traumas of abortion. I said good bye to a baby who will never know his little brother or sister and I waved good bye to her unborn child who will never get a chance to live.

2 comments:

luisgorres said...

Rose,

You should have taken her 8 month old son you were bouncing on your knees and asked her "Why not this one?" Ask her if she is willing to go full term and give up the baby for adoption. I'll take care of the baby, raise him or her and when they are both mature enough they can decide then if they would still like to live as parent and child. If it truly is just a matter of affordability then let me bear some of that burden for her. I'm open to adoption or just to raise the child for her.

Unknown said...

Luis, Believe me, I really try to hit the idea of adoption home with girls like this but they always say something along the lines of, "If I have the baby then I wouldn't be able to give it up and then I'd have to keep it so abortion is the only option for me." It's a skewed way of thinking but in these girls' minds it makes perfect sense. I've personally offered to adopt babies in this situation as a last ditch attempt to save the babies lives but even promising to cover medical bills, pay for missed work and school doesn't seem to help.

Rose Marie