Asking Questions

Two young women came into the South Bronx office, they were asking for birth control. This happens a lot, and in some ways I think it is a good thing. When they came in they were concerned about getting pregnant! We had them sit down and went over a few facts.

1. Birth control is not 100% effective!

2. Taking birth control can raise your chances of getting a STD.

3. The hormone birth controls often do just that. Control birth!

These young women had never been properly shown the information on birth control, STD’s, or abortion. Because when we talk about birth control, we talk about what happens if it fails. What are their options? Only bad ones at that point!

These young women asked so many questions. They really wanted to know the truth. So we gave it to them.

Lights In A Dark World

“The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple.” Psalm 119:130 KJV

When she walked into the South Bronx office, I noticed how depressed she looked. When Mrs. Liz went over to talk with her, she opened up very quickly. Pretty soon we found out why she seemed like she was having a bad day.

Her boyfriend and his family had all been pressuring her to get an abortion. She told us her sister was now doing the same thing. On every side people were against her. At least, they were believing lies and passing them on!

When Mrs. Liz and I worked with her, we were able to share facts about fetal development. We shared with her the truth about abortion. The truth about the risks, and the racism. How well society has blinded people’s eyes to the truth! Fortunately God loves to give sight to the blind, and light up the darkness.

This woman now knows she truly has a choice. That she doesn’t have to do what the people around her are telling her to do. This is just one of the many ways God is using us to combat the darkness.

Grass Is Greener?

She had one child 14 years ago, and came in hoping she might be pregnant. When I spoke with her, she was considering getting a Dilation and Curettage procedure done. Not because she wanted an abortion, but because she thought it might help her conceive! Although I am not a doctor, I was able to share with her the risks of the procedure. One of the most common is infertility. Another is miscarriages of “wanted” pregnancies. The South Bronx Center Director Liz was able to give her information on who she could contact about Natural Family Planning.

What made this woman stick out in my mind, is the realization that women who don’t want a baby right now are the ones who get pregnant with ease. And the women who have been trying to get pregnant often have a harder time. Why do people always seem to want what they can’t have, at least until they have it?

In Unexpected Places

As I have been working here for the past three months I have often been amazed at how I am able to minister to people. Sometimes I am able to change a “Pro-Choicers” idea of what Pro-Lifers are like. Once I was able to work with a homeless woman. (That was outside of EMC work.) There are many chances for all of us to reach out and touch people’s lives.

This morning however was different. As I was headed to work, a man sat down next to me. I smiled at him, and rested my head on my hand again. He asked if I was alright. I said I was, that I was just exhausted. Concern filled his eyes and he wondered if I had a rough night. (I actually slept well!) I explained that my job could be emotionally draining, and we started a conversation about what I do.

His interest was evident, and I quickly learned that he was Pro-Life. When I went to get off at my stop, he shook my hand and thanked me for doing this work. As I walked into the office, I realized I wasn’t so exhausted anymore. God placed that man in the right place, at the right time; knowing I would need to have an extra boost. I was able to give my clients 110%, thanks to a complete stranger.

Their Redeemer is strong; the LORD of hosts is his name: he shall throughly plead their cause, that he may give rest to the land, and disquiet the inhabitants of Babylon.

Jeremiah 50:34

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Mathew 11:28

Languages

I have been utterly amazed at the diversity of languages and cultures in New York. I was even able to work with a client who made me remember that what I do is as much a heart to heart counseling as it is a factual counseling. She had a difficult time understanding me, but we were still able to communicate.
Yes, a lot of the women speak Spanish, some even speak other less common languages. This woman however was deaf. She could not hear the words I spoke. She could not hear the videos. But with what little ASL I know, and her ability to read lips, we were able to talk.
It was not my words that touched her. It was not my facts that moved her. It was my heart reaching out to hers. The language of hearts is a gift. It is special, not because few have it. But because few use it.

Playland Or Sex?

When I first walked in, it was still light out. Everything seemed so new. I had the hardest time believing I could really be in a place such as this. It was literally a dream come true. I had been waiting my whole life. I had only a vague idea of what it would be like, and my idea was so bland compared to the reality.

I started going from one to another. The thrill in my body is hard to describe. It was amazing. I never rode one more than once, there were so many to choose from. I only had a little window of opportunity.

Once it was dark it was even more fun. I could close my eyes and pretend I was being whisked away! The fireworks were amazing, they ended the night on a wonderful note.

When I got home I started thinking how similar my night was, to one my clients might have had. The difference? Mine was a night that I won’t regret. One where the choices I had to choose from were all positive. Theirs? They may regret it for the rest of their lives. Once they go down that path, the choices go from bad to worse. That is the difference.

We all have freedom of choice, but some things were never meant to be chosen.

Nobody Told Me!

It was after 4 o'clock. Normally we can't see walk-ins that late because then we can't give them the time they deserve. But we let her in to make an appointment. Next thing I knew I was giving her the basic overview of abortion. When she first came in, I felt led to ask her what she knew about abortion. She told me she didn't know anything about it. Then she shared something which broke my heart.

She has a three year old daughter. When she found out she was pregnant that time she was shocked. Her reason? "Nobody ever explained to me about the birds and the bees." This woman was having sex, as a minor, and no one had told her of the risks. Her family seems to be Pro-Life, but they did not properly educate her. I briefly discussed some of the STD's with her. She is coming back on Monday, and I can hardly wait to give this Mom the truth.

No Difference

Yes, she was 15 and pregnant. What made this girl stick out in my mind, however was not her age. It was not her financial situation. It was her mother. Her mother brought her in, sat in the waiting room for awhile then started to complain. She asked how long we were going to take. One of the other interns told her we were probably still filling out the intake form. She stood up and said, “if it is going to take so long, I am going shopping.”

This mother left her daughter with complete strangers. She just walked out! My mom would have insisted on being in the room with me, held my hand, talked with me. But then, my mom would never have let me be in this situation.

This girl’s mother not only was not protecting her daughter, she was in effect forcing her daughter to get the abortion. She was not physically pushing her daughter onto an operating table, but we say the pressure loud and clear. She told us, “my daughter will get the abortion. She will not have this baby.” Those were her very words. She talked about how bad her life was, and seemed to have no regard for her daughter's.

Is this what America is coming to? Not only will mothers throw their unborn children away, but now their born ones as well? It just proves what we have been saying all along. There is truly no real difference between the born and the unborn.

They've Been Hurt, Not Helped

I finally got a chance to work in Brooklyn! I loved it. It amazes me how many different styles of counseling there are, and yet how well they all can work. The details are different. The people are different. But the truth stays the same.

No matter who you talk with, they have been hurt. No matter what the situation, they believes something better is out there. Guys, girls, they all need the same things. Truth, in love. We can’t tell them the truth and not care about them too. We can’t care about them and not tell them the truth. It is a win-win situation!

Before these couples come to us, they are told lies. They are pushed into things not knowing what could happen. I see it every day. Women who seem hard and bitter, are lashing out because they are in pain. My Mom has a saying, “hurt people, hurt people.” It is so true.

These people need God, not death. They need strength, not the “easy” way out. Every one who helps them will be blessed.

It Is Good

After the long weekend, today was back to life as usual. As we all chose to fight for life today, we saw amazing things. I watched as a woman at the sidewalk by Dr. Emily's was counseled. Julie truly does have a gift! I worked with interns and staff today as hearts were changed and lives were saved.

And yet there are still so many more to be reached. How many

women turn into Planned Parenthood rather than into EMC

Frontline? We are doing as much as we can. But I am asking for

your prayers specifically for ones we don't even see. South Bronx alone has well over 700

clients so far this year. How many more need to be reached? How many more can be touched?

As I think of the women who we don't reach, I am so grateful for the ones we do. The woman in

the office this morning who was afraid of another miscarriage. The young women I have

counseled about abstinence. The young men who had no idea they could tell their girlfriend

they wanted this baby. These, we have reached. And God looks and says, "It is good."

Two Months

Each woman is so different, there is no formula to follow to help her. It is truly a relationship that forms between us, the women are not just clients. They are each special and real people. From the woman who wants an abortion because she is a lesbian, to the girl whose Mom insists; they are all special. They are all loved by God, and so they deserve to be loved by us.

I have been here for two months. I have heard so many stories. Sometimes I wonder where the world is going. But then a child smiles at me and I am amazed at where this world is going. As horrible as each death is, the lives saved are even more incredible.

The women listen to us, to the truth, because it tugs at the hole inside of them. Without the truth, they have nothing. Without God, they have no truth. Without truth, they have no hope. Without hope, they have no strength. This is where we come in.

We have God, truth, hope and strength. And we are here to share. We are not here to make money. We are not here for a summer fling. We are serious interns who truly care. These women know it. And their hearts are changed when the love of God shines through us.

Learn And Teach Others

Two girls came in today and showed more strength than most women can, in these situations. The pregnant girl was only 17, her sister was a year younger. She walked and told me that she knew abortion was killing a baby, and that parenting would be hard. Then she smiled and said, "I'm keeping my baby!"

Without my needing to convince her, she chose to keep. Simply because it is the right thing to do. But I still had more to do, I talked with her about why women choose abortion and how the procedure "works". She had no idea what really happens to women who choose this. She had no idea what really happens to the babies. So I shared the truth with her.

Now she is committed to telling the truth about "freedom of choice". And she is completely in love with her baby. She left the office, and I listened to her laughing as she yelled... "I'm having a baby!"

Chains Are Breaking Every Day

How hard it is to look in a woman’s eyes and say her boyfriend is a sleezeball. Yet sometimes that is what I have to do. (Okay, so maybe not in those words but still…) She has been cheated on, lied to, and used. Now she is pregnant.

She knows she needs to lose the boyfriend, not only for the baby’s sake but also because she deserves better. Yet she keeps hoping he will change. It hurt to see her going through this pain. She is connected with him because of sex, and it is even harder to break away because he is her first. The chemicals in her brain are reeking havoc on her heart.

Every day I see the pain that comes from sex outside of marriage. Every day I see the shock and horror on a woman’s face as she looks at her test. Pregnancy is not designed to be a disappointment. Sex is not designed to be used outside of a holy lifelong God given relationship.

Each woman and girl that come to our offices have had sex. Most are without a ring on their fingers. But all, like this girl, have pain that we can help with. Whether they hear us, is up to them. So pray for them! The message we give is one of love and truth and many truly listen.

Complexities And Blessings

Two wonderful women. Two very different situations. I started out with a woman who is planning on keeping, but everything and everyone in her life is pushing her to abort. She is choosing to be strong, she is choosing to trust in God. She had sex with a guy who just wanted a one night stand. She is in a lesbian relationship. Her mom has already told her to find a new place to live. She doesn’t feel like anyone loves her. She feels alone. Or at least she did… Now she has my private number. Now she knows she is in our prayers.

I pray things get better. I know they can’t get much worse. And I know God will bless her for choosing Life!

Next, I met a woman who has everything going for her. Her boyfriend proposed. They will be getting married before the baby is due. Her baby is going to be born around her birthday. She already has a beautiful name picked out. Her mom has opened up her home and finances until the baby is born, then will help her find her own place with the money she has saved.

I looked at the second woman and told her, “you are so blessed.” She nodded like, yeah whatever. So I told her what most girls in my office go through. She realized how amazing this pregnancy is. How wonderful her life is, and will be. She is so happy to be a mom!

Chance Encounter?

I had just finished working outside of Dr. Emily’s, and was sitting at the bus stop. I watched as this old man started to walk past the bus stop. I watched him do a double take, and come around to stand in front of me. He looked at me and stuck out his hand. I took it and he started to pump it enthusiastically.

I guess my confusion must have shown on my face, as he started to speak rapidly and with great emotion. Unfortunately he was speaking Spanish. I am really bad with Spanish, but I was able to (in Spanish) tell him I couldn’t understand him. He nodded and shook my hand again, then walked off.

I turned to the woman next to me and asked if she could translate. She didn’t speak much English, but she pointed at Dr. Emily’s and said, “Aboot, Aboot.” I got the gist. The old man had been thanking me profusely for sidewalk counseling outside the clinic. I knew the community was grateful for us, but to be recognized and thanked somewhere else was truly wonderful.

Time Is Money, Money Is Not Time

"I don't want one, but..." She walked up to us on the sidewalk at Dr. Emily's. All she needed today was someone to listen and offer a friendly voice. Her boyfriend had started out by saying yes- he wanted a child, but now had changed his mind. It is so common for women to feel alone, yet support is what they need most. Most people turn away and leave her to her horrible choice. Never to hear, "I'll help you. I care."

EMC Frontline is only a small organization compared to the amounts of women that need help. If you truly care about what happens to these women and their babies, than I challenge you to prove it. Many of you are already giving of your finances. Some of you are donating your time and talents. I hope to see more start coming face to face with the women, letting them know we care.

Are you good at public speaking? Than ask your Priest or Pastor about speaking within the church. Are you able to spend even one hour a week devoting yourself to prayer for these women and the people who are involved? Would you learn to counsel and volunteer in a center or out on a sidewalk? Would you donate diapers and clothes for toddlers? (Babies don't stay little, and some are born big!)

The work will get done, but will you one day be able to look into a woman's eyes as she thanks you? I hope so.

Abortion or Parenting? Not The Only Choices!

Six and a half weeks and asking about the pill. She had a surgical abortion and hated it, so now she wanted something better. The pill is actually much worse. Women are forced to see the baby when it comes out dead. They must make sure everything comes out. If it doesn’t, they have to have the surgical abortion anyway.

I shared information on the pill, and South Bronx Center Director Liz shared information on adoption and birthmothers. She started to cry. She knew the baby is a living growing human. She knew it would be killing her child. And so she decided to choose life. However she is considering adoption. This is the first client I have met who considered it an option. Most of the time a woman decides to parent. This woman will be going to talk to a adoption counselor, and see if it is the best thing for her baby.

As she left she told us, “I had an appointment for an abortion on Monday, but my friend sent me here.” Talk about just in time!

Meant To Be

Her story is amazing! She found out she was pregnant three months after giving birth to a little boy. Scared and confused, she set up an appointment for an abortion. After she asked the bus driver to tell her when to get off, she fell asleep. She was headed to an abortion mill, but ended up with me!

She woke up, and the bus driver apologized for forgetting her! He told her to get off the bus and cross the street, then get on the bus going the other direction. When she was waiting for the bus, she commented to a stranger about how things seemed to get in her way. The stranger guessed she wanted the abortion, and pointed up. Our “Unplanned Pregnancy” sign looked liked just the place to go.

As she was walking up the stairs she was thinking to herself, “they’re killing babies here.” When she came in the office, she started to fill out the intake form. We started to talk. She gave my day a huge lift! This woman knew what she wanted, she wanted to keep her baby. She just didn’t know there were people who could love her through the decision.

The Center Director Liz pulled out a paper to show her, and she started flipping through the binder it was in. She read through almost the whole thing. She knew abortion is murder, she knew she would never be the same afterwards. She didn’t know it could kill her. She didn’t know it could make her three month old (yes, three months old and she was pregnant) little boy an orphan. She didn’t know it might make her sterile.

This is what I live for. Seeing women who know in their hearts learn in their heads. Seeing them turn from Abortion Minded, to Parent Minded! Knowing her little boy will have a sibling like a twin. And knowing her heart is safer.

Plan B, Not God's Plan

She came in to ask about the Plan B for her friend. This girl is attending a catholic high school. This young teenager had heard someone speak about the Plan B, however she didn’t think anything of it at the time. Now she found her friend in a scary situation, and immediately did what everyone says is best.

I am so glad she came into our offices instead of going somewhere like Planned Parenthood! If she had gone to a pro-abortion group, they never would have told her the truth.

“If one reads the patient information package insert for regular hormonal birth control (remember, emergency contraception is a mega-dose of the regular birth control pill), one will find that the side effects of hormonal contraceptives include:

• Cerebral hemorrhage (bleeding into the cranial cavity)
• Melasma, which may persist (skin discoloration; usually dark, irregular patches)
• Mesenteric thrombosis (blood clot in the major veins that drain blood from the intestine)
• Hemorrhagic eruption (bleeding eruption)
• Myocardial infarction (heart attack)
• Hemolytic uremic syndrome (kidney failure and low platelet count in the blood)”

This information is a shortened list. To see the full list go to http://www.morningafterpill.org. These are all complications that we are more than willing to share, but the pro-aborts refuse to tell the girls. This girl gave us all big hugs when she left, and she thanked us for telling her the truth.

Hidden Joys

Okay, so the picture doesn’t seem to fit a blog about women with unplanned pregnancies. But as I was walking along, I spied this small flower amongst these big plants. If I wasn’t looking, I would have missed this joy. Isn’t it amazing how the pieces of the puzzle all fall together when we watch carefully?

After she walked in, I started by finding out about her life. Where does she go to school? What is her boyfriend like? What does she want to do if she is pregnant? The usual things I have to learn to help her. Yet none of those questions could explain the glow on her face. The hope in her eyes.

She was scared. She didn’t think it was a good time to have a child. But she looked at me in horror when I asked her if she wanted the abortion. She wanted this child she might be carrying very much, there was no way she would even consider it. We watched some informational videos, I showed her some info on STDs. After awhile I helped her with the pregnancy test.

I will never forget the look on her face when she saw the test results. So many women are relived, some are scared, some are resolute. This woman was disappointed. She knew it would be hard to be a mom right now. She knew all the reasons she should be relieved. But she wanted a child, even though it would have been an “unplanned” pregnancy.

Women like this one, are the ones who light up my world. The ones I don’t expect, and could never plan into my life. But if I wasn’t looking, I would have missed this joy.