The best lesson I’ve learned so far being here is the importance of fathers. I have a great Dad, so the things I saw today were really far from my own experience. One woman I’ll call Allie has three kids, the oldest of which is headed to college next year; she came in for an abortion. The father of this newest baby refused to work, despite job opportunities she had found for him. Her boyfriend’s lack of virtue (laziness, lack of love, etc) was pushing her towards getting an abortion.
It struck me that though society has assigned the “choice” of abortion to women, men have a big part to play. Some men pressure their pregnant girlfriends to get abortions. Other men are totally passive, like “Diego” yesterday. His girlfriend “Maria” obviously didn’t want the abortion, but when she asked his opinion he just said “whatever you want.” That is not respectful deference, it’s just cowardice. Despite their reputation for being tough, the men that I’ve met in these centers seriously lack fortitude.
It takes real fortitude to be a man, propose, and take responsibility for the child you helped create. As my own Dad once put it, talking about the epidemic of fatherlessness, “It’s not about how many children you can sire, but about how many you can raise.”
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