Recently while I was training at one of our centers, I sat in on a counseling session of a very young girl who had come in for a pregnancy test. She'd actually been in for a test some weeks before, but wanted to be sure so we agreed to give her another. She and her boyfriend were both relieved that she wasn't pregnant.
The girl- let's call her Megan- was 15 and her boyfriend was 16. They were both darling kids and obviously adored each other. Our counselor spoke to her alone, and began by asking her a few questions about her life and situation. She was very quiet and looked away shyly at first, but finally opened up to the counselor's warm and friendly personality. At this point we discovered something very surprising- she and her boyfriend were both virgins! But because they had become more intimate and had some sort of sexual mishap, Megan wasn't sure if she could have gotten pregnant or not and she was hearing conflicting opinions from her friends. Her paranoia led her to our center- twice.
The counselor began to talk with Megan about her relief at finding out that she wasn't pregnant, about how she wasn't ready to have a baby in her life, and how having a sexual relationship with her boyfriend could lead to a baby, because babies are the natural consequence of sex. Then he spoke about the one and only way ensure that you never get pregnant- abstinence.
As the counselor began to elaborate on the benefits of abstinence before marriage, Megan listened intently with trusting blue eyes wide open, as if she felt that the counselor was her big brother. He gently explained about the unnecessary burdens of a sexual relationship, especially for someone so young. Sex is like duct tape- it emotionally binds two people together with the "Love Hormone" oxytocin, and breaking off that relationship is an emotional ripping apart. And it has much more of an effect on girls than on guys. Chastity, on the other hand, creates freedom...freedom from unnecessary worries, emotions, babies, STD's.
"You have your whole life ahead of you!" he said. And again something along the lines of, "You are a princess... you deserve the best. You deserve to share this with someone who is going to love you for the rest of your life." The counselor told her about those of his female friends who are saving themselves for their spouse, and how amazing it is to see the level of respect they have for themselves and others have for them. They are so incredibly happy when they get married, he said.
When the counselor finished, he looked at Megan, smiled, and said with a laugh, "Now that we've said alllll that, do you think we're completely crazy?" "No, no!" she assured us. "I really liked what you said." She was extremely happy to have talked with the counselor and was very thankful for all the information. "After being so worried that I was pregnant, I don't really feel like doing any of that stuff anymore."
Like the vast majority of kids in New York City, it seems, she had never heard a chastity message before, and it had probably never even crossed her mind that such a lifestyle even existed! Although we will never know what choice she made after she left our center, we gave her a choice. We created an alternate path for her by opening her eyes to information that she'd never heard before. It was undoubtedly the first- and possibly the last- time for her to hear such a message. And I could see immediately the benefit of her having this kind of conversation with a man. As she left, I silently prayed that she would never forget that honorable guys like that really do exist.
The girl- let's call her Megan- was 15 and her boyfriend was 16. They were both darling kids and obviously adored each other. Our counselor spoke to her alone, and began by asking her a few questions about her life and situation. She was very quiet and looked away shyly at first, but finally opened up to the counselor's warm and friendly personality. At this point we discovered something very surprising- she and her boyfriend were both virgins! But because they had become more intimate and had some sort of sexual mishap, Megan wasn't sure if she could have gotten pregnant or not and she was hearing conflicting opinions from her friends. Her paranoia led her to our center- twice.
The counselor began to talk with Megan about her relief at finding out that she wasn't pregnant, about how she wasn't ready to have a baby in her life, and how having a sexual relationship with her boyfriend could lead to a baby, because babies are the natural consequence of sex. Then he spoke about the one and only way ensure that you never get pregnant- abstinence.
As the counselor began to elaborate on the benefits of abstinence before marriage, Megan listened intently with trusting blue eyes wide open, as if she felt that the counselor was her big brother. He gently explained about the unnecessary burdens of a sexual relationship, especially for someone so young. Sex is like duct tape- it emotionally binds two people together with the "Love Hormone" oxytocin, and breaking off that relationship is an emotional ripping apart. And it has much more of an effect on girls than on guys. Chastity, on the other hand, creates freedom...freedom from unnecessary worries, emotions, babies, STD's.
"You have your whole life ahead of you!" he said. And again something along the lines of, "You are a princess... you deserve the best. You deserve to share this with someone who is going to love you for the rest of your life." The counselor told her about those of his female friends who are saving themselves for their spouse, and how amazing it is to see the level of respect they have for themselves and others have for them. They are so incredibly happy when they get married, he said.
When the counselor finished, he looked at Megan, smiled, and said with a laugh, "Now that we've said alllll that, do you think we're completely crazy?" "No, no!" she assured us. "I really liked what you said." She was extremely happy to have talked with the counselor and was very thankful for all the information. "After being so worried that I was pregnant, I don't really feel like doing any of that stuff anymore."
Like the vast majority of kids in New York City, it seems, she had never heard a chastity message before, and it had probably never even crossed her mind that such a lifestyle even existed! Although we will never know what choice she made after she left our center, we gave her a choice. We created an alternate path for her by opening her eyes to information that she'd never heard before. It was undoubtedly the first- and possibly the last- time for her to hear such a message. And I could see immediately the benefit of her having this kind of conversation with a man. As she left, I silently prayed that she would never forget that honorable guys like that really do exist.
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