Every once in a while, we have to deal with some...unorthodox situations at the crisis pregnancy centers. For example, at our Bronx center run by the wonderful and talented Liz Alvarez, we had a frantic knock at the door about 10:00 in the morning. A mother was outside with two of her children, a daughter and a son. The daughter was just 12 years old.
Much to my relief (and surprise), she explained that she wanted us to speak to her daughter about abstinence. She herself had been a client at a pregnancy resource center about 18 years ago, during her first pregnancy. With tears in her eyes she thanked us - and all who work to help pregnant women - for the life of her brilliant son, who is now in a top college in Connecticut.
Her daughter, on the other hand, was less than thrilled. The trip this morning was punishment for a little joyride she took on Friday with her boyfriend; and while she claims nothing happened between the two of them, there was undoubtedly ample time...and temptation. We spoke to her about many things - from the deeper meaning of sex, to the beauty of abstinence, to respect between boyfriend and girlfriend and the consequences of pregnancy and STDs. After just half an hour of talking, the poor girl was crying on my shoulder.
She stayed for more than four hours altogether, watching resource videos and talking with the counselors.
Soon after she left, I took another client; one who had been seen only weeks before. She didn't have an appointment today, but when I asked her what she was here for she responded by glancing nervously at her boyfriend and muttering, "Abortion."
When I took her to the back room to do the intake, she leaned forward and - after checking the doorway for listeners - confided in me that she really didn't want an abortion after all. She explained that her housing situation was unstable, something she hadn't mentioned in her past visit. When I asked her why her boyfriend was with her, her mood instantly deflated.
"He's the other problem," she sighed. "He won't let me keep it."
Liz, who was walking by the room at the moment, popped her head in and exclaimed, "Then abort him instead!" We explained to her that no one can force her into an abortion, but offered to speak to the boyfriend to attempt to get him to take the pressure off her. Liz then showed both this young girl - and her apathetic boyfriend, who was already the father of several children by other women - a video of actual abortions in progress. By the end, the girl was in tears and the boyfriend was looking, if not downright disturbed, than at least a bit more uncomfortable than he was before.
He tried to convince us that abortion isn't really wrong...because the "thing" (meaning the tiny person) being "removed" (that is, killed) is so small.
We had a lengthy conversation with him on the topic. He left not fully convinced, but with some hefty food for thought.
His girlfriend is keeping her baby.
Such encounters make me wonder, though: would this beautiful young mother be in this situation if she had had a mother to drag her in here when she was 12? If someone had just taken the time to make sure she was educated on the consequences of sex, would her life be any different? It's too late to go back and change her life, but hopefully her courageous example will be an inspiration to others...maybe others who have not yet made such painful choices.
1 comment:
Does your org. Offer adoption placement for the children that are kept? Please contact me at hobbbz@gmail.com I know of a couple who is trying hard to adopt.
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