Sunday, December 12, 2010

A thing to consider

During a recent phone conversation I had with a woman who had come into our Queens pregnancy center I realized that sometimes the most simple observations can have a lasting impact.

It came out that one of the things that had stuck with her the most during her visit to us and the conversation we had at the time was the realization that, while her situation was not ideal, other women have it much worse and 'they can do it, why can't I?' She had just spent some time with family, and this lifted her spirits in discovering that she does have people that will love her and materially help her.


And it is so true, not only does the poorest women in the United States compare quite favorably to the poorest women in other countries, but they also compare very favorably to almost all the generations of women in the past. This is not to downplay the hardships that many women have, especially in facing crisis pregnancies, but it does highlight an important point.


When women want to terminate their pregnancies, it is often because they think that they simply cannot handle it considering their situation, or at least they won't handle it very well. But this is a lie. While it is true that each woman is different, it is not true that they are so different from one another that they cannot gain strength in the knowledge that others around the world and in the past have successfully raised children and lived happy lives. During our conversations in fact, quite frequently women will eventually admit that they will have help, that it is not impossible - that they can do it. (The fact that most will not even consider adoption on the grounds that they would 'want it' after going through the pregnancy at least shows to some degree I think that women do think they can do it - they just don't want to.)


And I think it is a lesson for most of us, that we do all have more than enough to live happily and that if we examined our lives, most of us have more than enough people that love us. This is enough to get us through most any difficult situation.

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