Sunday, November 22, 2009

Her Child Had a Price on it´s Head; Mommy Are You Going to Kill My Little Brother or Sister? Part 2

¨I asked her what her family thought about her pregnancy and what they thought she should do. Her mother was against abortion and wanted her to keep the baby. Just the emotional support she needed! Her three year old daughter just hours earlier had said, ¨Mommy, are you going to have an abortion? Are you going to kill my baby brother or sister?¨

Oh my goodness, Mama are you serious?¨ I said. ¨What does your three year old know about abortion? Have you ever mentioned it to her before? Have you spoken of it in front of her?¨I asked. She told me that never in her life had she told her daughter about abortion. ¨You know that´s God, right?!? Sometimes he speaks through the smallest and most innocent.¨ I asked her what her daughter wanted her to do? Did she want her mom to have an abortion? We talked about what it would be like to have to face her daughter one day and tell her that her little brother or sister was dead because of a choice that she made.

By this time it was getting late and I should have closed up the office at least an hour before, but I knew that this was to important to go home. Her child´s life and her happiness were hanging in the balance. So we continued. I told her what would happen if she had an abortion, how she would be treated by the staff, how they would turn the sonogram screen away from her to hide her child´s humanity, and how much money her baby was worth to the clinic. To the Clinic Staff her child had a price on it´s head.

We talked about the abortion procedure itself and all of the risks and complications that it would expose her body to, not to mention what it would do to the tiny body of her baby. She didn´t know, and when I told her it was almost too much to believe. She had never been told about the havoc that this surgery could reap on her uterus, or that abortion gives a woman a higher risk of Ectopic Pregnancy, and she had never even heard of an Abortion Induced Embolism before. She started to weigh the risks. Could she put herself in such danger? After all, she had two small children at home that needed their mom.

At about this time her boyfriend returned from his walk. He sat down and she asked me to tell him about some of the things we had just spoken of. We talked for a long time. Before we said goodbye, I told them that there was something that they needed to see. It was hard to see, it was graphic, it was a video of abortion. If they were considering abortion, than they should know exactly what it is, what it does, and what it looks like so that they could make an informed decision. They said they wanted to see it. As they watched the video, it became apparent that abortion was not for he! ¨They´re gonna do that to me? Ï can´t do that to my baby!¨ He was not pleased. I made an appointment for her for a free sonogram and we hugged and said goodbye. Before they left I told him, ¨You´re angry that she met me aren´t you?¨ ¨No.¨ he said and they left my office. I closed up and made my way to the bus stop in the dark. As I sat on that bus, I was tired but happy, a satisfaction deep down in my spirit. I had stayed late, but in doing so I helped to change a woman´s mind and save her child´s life.

To be Continued......


Kelsey said...

Oh, and my abortion provider offered me the chance to see the ultrasound. I only felt awe at what my body could produce, and at the same time, confident knowing that I could not bear to carry a child right now, physically, emotionally and financially. A nurse and I discussed everything in full. I knew exactly what abortion entailed. The provider also used a sliding scale fee to enable for me to pay for the procedure without paying in full. And at the end of the surgery (getting my teeth pulled was far more painful), they let me lie down in a quiet room and gave me juice to drink. So much for the whole "abortion mill" myth. I'm satisfied with my treatment. The only issue with the procedure were pro-life wingnuts in my town who try to confuse women every day about their reproductive decisions, offering false information instead of real, compassionate counsel.

Suzanne said...

I could not bear to carry a child right now, physically, emotionally and financially.

Is it because you *couldn't* or because you didn't want to?

Because the people at a crisis pregnancy centre would have done everything in their power to make that possible.

Kelsey said...

Dear Suzanne,

Unlike the women EMC Frontline dupes everyday, I'm a college-educated white girl who knows the consequences of abortion. I've had years of sex education (which doesn't exist in the Bronx...I know, because I've worked in reproductive health care there). Personally, I didn't want a baby, and I wasn't operating under any sort of false consciousness. I truly appreciate the offer to help me bear a child, and I'm being sincere--I think there should be waaaay more services that make having children easier for ALL women. However, abortion is just as viable a decision, if a woman is well-informed of her decision, and has all the tools she needs to make an empowered decision.