They Didn't Think That Such A Place Exsisted.

Last Saturday three girls in their early teens visited our South Bronx office. Two fifteen year old best friends, and a thirteen year old little sister just tagging along. The two older girls were afraid that they might be pregnant, and it didn't take much time to find out that the thirteen year old was sexually active as well. While it was to early to tell if they were in fact pregnant, I took the oppertunity to have a talk with them.

I started out by asking them a few questions, "What do you like to do in your spare time?" followed by, "What are your hobbies?". These girls had talents ranging from cooking to dancing to swimming to organizing and singing! But the very first answer that I got was, "I like to chill with my boyfriend and my friends."

You may wonder why I would ask such seemingly trivial questions, when I could have been talking about Abstinence and Chastity. The answer is simply that, if a girl doesn't understand that she has more to offer in a relationship than her body, if she doesn't know her own self worth, than it is pretty hard to get her to wrap her mind around saving sex for marriage. For to long girls have been fed the lie, that the best thing about them is their body. My first task was to get them to believe the truth, that they are unique, talented, loving, giving and compassionate, young women that are capable of really and truly loving. I wanted to introduce to them the concept that to be loved by them is a gift indeed, and that the best things about them are their spirits and their minds.

Once we built this foundation of self worth, it no longer seemed so foriegn for a young man to love one of them without having access, to the precious gifts of her body. We talked about what it meant to be respected by the men in our lives. I watched beautiful tears fall from their eyes, as I told them stories of young women recieving respect from their boyfriends. The girls thought that good guys didn't exsist anymore. Well, I could vouch for it because the stories that I told were of my friends! We also touched on the true meaning of love, and what it would be like to be in a relationship with someone who, "willed the good of the other". We looked at the vast difference between being loved and being used.

Many more things were said, to numerous to write about while keeping your interest. But I will tell you this, these girls were hungering for someone to teach them. Over and over again, as I gave them theological, scientific, and practical reasons to save sex for marriage, one of them just kept repeating, "That's deep, that's deep."

We spent two hours laughing and crying, learning and growing, and singing! In the end we bonded. When it came down to it, they said that they didn't even think that there was such a place where they could go and get a pregnancy test, and have someone sit down and talk with them. I'm glad I could be there.