It kept falling and falling.....

As I ly awake in my bed early this morning I heard the rain hitting the house and I knew I was going to be in it all day. I sighed as the thought of being cold and wet came to mind, and suddenly found myself planning my layers of clothes to wear that day to stay warm. As the morning progress, as they often do, I prayed for less and less girls to enter the abortion mill for more than one reason; I wanted to be warm!

Every Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday morning the abortion mill in the South Bronx makes appointments for abortions. We are there! Today without keeping track I couldn't help but feel there were less women going in than normal, but more than we would like of course.
By the grace of God, I was able to talk a young girl, "Tina" into getting a sonogram which we offer in our mobile clinic parked around the corner. Tina brought with her her friend and boyfriend as "moral support". I soon left them in our mobile clinic with the wonderful sonogram technician and prayed to the Holy Spirit for conversion of heart. Not much time had passed when I saw them walking back up the sidewalk to enter the mill again. This time Tina had noticeably been crying, as she entered the doors of eternal regret her friend gives me the "Don't shove your beliefs on other people" speech. I kindly tell her we not here to force beliefs on anyone, we're here to help. Softly she replies "I know" and walks in with Tina. Tina's boyfriend on the other hand stood back starring at the doors as if starring out in space. Making eye contact with me he sincerely says "Thank you". I notice his eyes are misty; I tell him she's not alone in having this baby. "You're not alone" I say to him. After a somewhat long pause; with hesitation he walks in to be with Tina. Many prayers I feel went to Our Lord for them at that moment for not a hour later as I mingled at the back entrance Tina and her two companions walked out of darkness hoping for the light. With not much to say they disappeared into the New York disarray. Praise Jesus for these souls were spared! His Mercy is endless!

Abortion Row

It was a cold Thursday afternoon in Queens, NY outside what we call "abortion row". Outside these two abortion clinics almost back to back we setup a table with a TV and pro life literature which we pass out to anyone willing to take it from our hands. The video we have constantly repeating is call Abort73, a video showing baby fetuses after they have undergone the horrors of abortion. This movie without a doubt has the most gore I've ever seen in a movie. The passersby who are going about their daily business find themselves face to face with abortion.

This particular day I spent 6-7 hours witnessing to Life in front of "abortion row". I saw this one man whom I handed a Spanish brochure and thought he might have come out of one the clinics, his eyes were mesmerized by the video. The look on his face was heart wrenching. I went up to him and asked "Do you have a loved one in there?" I pointed to the clinic stairwell, he barely looked up at me and said "No ingles". So I went back to passing out literature, but couldn't help but notice the man stood there for a long time watching one graphic picture after another of cut up babies. I wanted to hug this man, I wanted to reach out to him somehow but with the language barrier it would have been impossible. So I prayed for him and all those suffering from abortion especially those in Queens, NY. As I prayed I knew I would never know the pain and suffering they know, with a warm tear running down my cheek I praised God for His mercy.

Outside the Clinic

I once thought that counseling outside a clinic was a mean thing to do, that hounding the women only lead to greater levels of depression and suicidally, that these women were already grief stricken and that it simply added to their pain. Then I started doing it.
The women we help don't want abortions, they are struggling with economic hardship and poverty, and they simply want help. This is the foundation by which the prolife movement is based upon, love is our cornerstone and hounding the girls is not part of the program.
Take "Amanda" for example this is not her real name however she wanted an abortion, until she heard their was help. Amanda lived in poverty, had an abusive boyfriend and had 4 children. She was raped with her first child and still braved the pregnancy and gave birth, and followed up by having several more children. We spoke outside of Dr Emily's (the abortion clinic here in the S. Bronx) and gently I told her about the programs we had available, she looked unconvinced. Then I suggested a free sonogram. She looked at the van and then broke down, she admitted she couldn't kill this life any more than she could any of her others and she stepped into our van for a sonogram. A life saved thanks to modern day technology and somebody who cared enough to say hi and listen.

Abstinance is Best

"I want an abortion." Those words never seem to sit easy with me. I know the pressure of a boyfriend is all it would take to push any girl over the edge from choosing life to choosing death, and that's something this girl had. Her boyfriend sat with her and admitted to being a peer counselor with Planned Parenthood. I was shocked to see this girl in our office. As I set her on the task of taking a test her boyfriend sat in the waiting room. As we let it cook we started to discuss abstinance as a possiblity for their relationship. She said she'd consider it however my co-worker Liz and I were far from convinced... then we showed her Liz's book. The book is composed by Liz and includes newspaper clippings showing the effects of abortion as well different clippings regarding STD's. Then one article caught her eye, it was on Gardisil the HPV vaccination. She proudly admitted to taking a dose of the vaccine.
Liz then broke the news to her, the HPV virus has many strains and though their were specific viruses targeted that on a whole fewer viruses were defeated by the vaccine than were not. She looked at us with grave concern. As her test continued to cook we ran through the gamut of STD's and the effectiveness or should I say the ineffectiveness of condoms. She looked teary as we explained how they often were not effective against viruses such as HPV that were transmitted by skin to skin contact. Then she begged us for the name of a GYN, which we promptly provided her with. She looked with scorn toward the room with her boyfriend who when we suggested abstinence looked absolutely appalled.
We don't try and break up couples however we do try and educate them, her test came back negative but she was changed. Her ability to make good decisions, decisions that would help her stay healthy, and safe was secured by our message, which is His message. God makes rules regarding sex in order to keep us safe, I was just sharing them.

What about Adoption?

"It isn't fair to the baby, for me to have it, I mean" began this 18 year old college freshman sitting in the office today. I began to explain the procedure but as always my words could not command the attention that our video library did.
After watching one of the videos on the procedures and repercussions of abortions she began to turn. "I just had no idea... what about adoption? It's kind of what I wanted from the beginning but the process is so expensive (she had read it would cost her $400 to put her baby up for adoption) and complicated". I explained gently that it was not an overnight fix but that when counseling and the process was finished it was the most loving, gentlest and kindness option available. I also explained that it would be free for her.
I told her she would be a hero in the eyes of God, something she looked sheepish about. We agreed that she and her boyfriend would return Monday to discuss it further, as it would be in part his decision.
I pray for her today and for all the mothers out there that are faced with the option of adoption. It is the the most selfless act an unwed mother could make and I pray that she be greatly rewarded for her decision.

God Never Gives Us More Than We Can Handle

Let's take in baby steps I tell this soon to be mommy-again. This is her fifth child and she is clearly scared, as am I. She has every intention of aborting her child. Her children range from 16 to 20 months and now her body is slowly preparing for her 5th. This mother has suffered through an abortion already and looks scared at the prospect of having another.
I listen as she explains her needs, primarily childcare for 20 month old and then a thought comes to me. I worked as a coworker for the Sisters of Life for about a year (and still do) during that time I provided women with child care, as well as other services. I asked her if she would mind if I gave them a call, because I knew they are a wealth of resources for expectant mothers. With gratitude in her eyes she say I could make the call.
Then she stopped me and told me that she loved children, that she in fact loved the child inside of her but that she felt she had to sacrifice him or her in order to provide a better life for the children she already had. I shook my head knowing she was the woman I always wanted to help, I always wanted to pray for, the woman backed into a corner with no other place. It was then that she told me she knew in her heart the Lord never gives us more than we can handle- at this I nodded and called Sister at the Visitation mission in Manhattan.
After talking with her for an hour on my cell she looked not only relieved but happy. Teamwork is essential in this war for souls, and thankfully we have God on our side. She left, and I knew both her a her baby were safe.

Survivor

As she stepped into our office I could see this young woman's stomach protruding from what I must assume was a once flat belly. It could be from beer but she's not old enough to drink. At the age of 15, this little one had an abortion, or so she thought.Her story went that her aunt took her for an abortion 2 months ago and had decided for her to terminate the pregnancy, a distressing situation for any woman, forced by another to make that "choice". Basically a sort of rape in the form of abortion. Although this in and of itself is not an uncommon story (whether it be the boyfriend, mother, or some other relative that simply cannot grasp that their is a life involved here) the end result is uncommon.
She claimed she still "felt pregnant" although she hadn't had sex since previously getting pregnancy. My initial reaction was that it was psychological, that she felt pregnant but that she wasn't. Then the test came back... the little pink line told everything. A botched abortion.
Fear then ran in all of our hearts, was the baby damaged, how big was she, how did the abortion affect the baby or the mother? We quickly raced her across town to a free sonogram clinic also run by the EMC crisis pregnancy centers.Then came the sonogram came back, or rather the sound that was sweeter than any man could make, it was a heart beat. A strong, powerful heartbeat. The center in Brooklyn had called us to not only confirm the pregnancy but to privilege us with the baby's 30 week old heartbeat. She is a survivor as is her mommy.

Gaurdian Angels

But I can't have this kid... I'm still in high school". This is the third girl this week who has told me she can't keep her baby because she's in school. The rain is pouring down as I gently remind her of her options, that their is help available and she doesn't need to abort. Her mind still lingers on what she is convinced is a simple procedure.
I show her the video, I show her the second video. Suddenly her eyes are brimming with tears. Shame was apparent on her face as she rubbed her stomach and I could see the wheels turning in her head as we sat in silence.
As St Francis said, "preach the gospel at all times, when necessary use words". I gently reach over and touch her hand reminding her she's not alone in this war for her soul. Her friends sits on her left and I realize now this baby's life is secure. Fr Pavone says "America won't reject abortion until it sees abortion". The more women I counsel at the EMC pregnancy center the more I realize how true this is. Tonight I will pray for the mothers and the almost mothers, may they find their own guardian angels and may they be their children's guardian angels.

If Not Me Than Who?

Although I've been here a couple of weeks I thought now as good a time as any to try my hand at blogging. To give all of you out there some background as to who I am I am a 29 year old female, new to this great of NY. I was a former doula now turned prolife advocate, becoming a voice for those without one- the unborn....What would make me give up a life that was, for the most part comfortable, settled, to come to NYC to fight a battle that many would say is a lost cause? Very simply, if not me than who? If it was not my battle to fight than who's is it? Is the unborn's? Nestled comfortably in the womb of their mothers they have no voice, they have no advocate... If not me than who?
What many do not realize is the 7 out of 10 mothers suffer from mood swings in the first trimester, a result of hormonal adjustments being made (source:What To Expect When Your Expecting) that can result in her being less than overjoyed with her pregnancy. This sort of imbalance coupled with the worldly stress put upon her can lead a mother to contemplate abortion. This is where my job begins.I work for the EMC crisis pregnancy clinics in the Bronx. Day in and day out calls come in from women who are vulnerable to abortion. My job is to turn these women around to show them abortion, to explain to them abortion, to make them understand their lives are never to be the same. Whether a woman chooses life or chooses death they will never be the same.
Although ultimately it is their decision it is ultimately my responsibility (and yours- if you agree with this cause) to educate them on their choice.This blog is dedicated to those women and those children who come into our clinics and I see as I sidewalk counsel- for those who choose life may their lives be blessed, for those who choose death may they find healing, and for those who I inspire, may God have mercy on your soul, and please help any way you can because one voice can change the world.