An Ounce of Prevention and a Pound of Cure

Every once in a while, we have to deal with some...unorthodox situations at the crisis pregnancy centers. For example, at our Bronx center run by the wonderful and talented Liz Alvarez, we had a frantic knock at the door about 10:00 in the morning. A mother was outside with two of her children, a daughter and a son. The daughter was just 12 years old.

Much to my relief (and surprise), she explained that she wanted us to speak to her daughter about abstinence. She herself had been a client at a pregnancy resource center about 18 years ago, during her first pregnancy. With tears in her eyes she thanked us - and all who work to help pregnant women - for the life of her brilliant son, who is now in a top college in Connecticut.

Her daughter, on the other hand, was less than thrilled. The trip this morning was punishment for a little joyride she took on Friday with her boyfriend; and while she claims nothing happened between the two of them, there was undoubtedly ample time...and temptation. We spoke to her about many things - from the deeper meaning of sex, to the beauty of abstinence, to respect between boyfriend and girlfriend and the consequences of pregnancy and STDs. After just half an hour of talking, the poor girl was crying on my shoulder.

She stayed for more than four hours altogether, watching resource videos and talking with the counselors.

Soon after she left, I took another client; one who had been seen only weeks before. She didn't have an appointment today, but when I asked her what she was here for she responded by glancing nervously at her boyfriend and muttering, "Abortion."

When I took her to the back room to do the intake, she leaned forward and - after checking the doorway for listeners - confided in me that she really didn't want an abortion after all. She explained that her housing situation was unstable, something she hadn't mentioned in her past visit. When I asked her why her boyfriend was with her, her mood instantly deflated.

"He's the other problem," she sighed. "He won't let me keep it."

Liz, who was walking by the room at the moment, popped her head in and exclaimed, "Then abort him instead!" We explained to her that no one can force her into an abortion, but offered to speak to the boyfriend to attempt to get him to take the pressure off her. Liz then showed both this young girl - and her apathetic boyfriend, who was already the father of several children by other women - a video of actual abortions in progress. By the end, the girl was in tears and the boyfriend was looking, if not downright disturbed, than at least a bit more uncomfortable than he was before.

He tried to convince us that abortion isn't really wrong...because the "thing" (meaning the tiny person) being "removed" (that is, killed) is so small.

We had a lengthy conversation with him on the topic. He left not fully convinced, but with some hefty food for thought.

His girlfriend is keeping her baby.

Such encounters make me wonder, though: would this beautiful young mother be in this situation if she had had a mother to drag her in here when she was 12? If someone had just taken the time to make sure she was educated on the consequences of sex, would her life be any different? It's too late to go back and change her life, but hopefully her courageous example will be an inspiration to others...maybe others who have not yet made such painful choices.

Foiled Escape Under a Hoodie

Here's another great Life story, straight from the bowels of the South Bronx.

Today, EMC Operation Frontline team members secured the safety of a baby by working closely with our South Bronx crisis center director Liz Alvarez. "Marisol" was first encountered at Dr. Emily's South Bronx abortion mill ten days ago seeking her seventh abortion, and was offered a free ultrasound on the way in for her scheduled abortion while accompanied by a friend (also pregnant). The abortion client was persuaded by her friend, who was keeping her baby, to visit our mobile clinic with her for free ultrasounds. After finding that she was 17 weeks along, her friend managed to convince her to leave without going through with the procedure.

With no phone number, this 17 week client had only her pro-life friend to work on her; but two days later she returned to the mill, this time without her friend. We learned that her family and the baby's father wanted her to keep the baby. She actually returned to the abortion mill for THEIR "abortion counseling." But she was unattended to for three hours, thankfully, in the mill's waiting room and she left in frustration. Julie Beyel, our Operation sidewalk counselor leader, who had first counseled her, tried again in vain to get through to her.

Then, a week later, Julie spied her sneakily exiting through what is normally only the front entrance, hiding under a hoodie. Julie approached her gently, called her by name, and offered her an immediate cab ride to our main South Bronx office, which she accepted. Liz and intern Brian Crenwelge spent three hours counseling her at our office at 344 E 149th Street. She left much happier than she came, and has been enrolled in quality prenatal care with a trusted doctor. She was also given information about a post-abortion healing program.

Clients like "Marisol" will take lots of contact, prayers, and sacrifice to keep on track. Please add your prayers to ours.

Seeing is Believing

It has been said that a picture is worth a thousand words. Images have the power to change a mind...and thus, by extension, a life. When the lives are mothers seeking abortions, however, special pictures are required.

It may seem obvious, but sonograms are a powerful tool in helping a mother make an informed decision about her pregnancy. Ultrasound technology literally brings a mother face-to-face with her unborn child, and the reality that she is the carrier of a beautifully unique human being; a human being who often gives quite a display of personality during his or her short time on-screen.

Tuesdays at the Brooklyn office are generally happier days than most, as those are the days we generally reserve for prenatal care. The sonograms performed on those days are generally later-term babies who display calmness and contentment, reflecting the attitudes of their mothers.

Today, however, we had several young women come in for counseling, rather than prenatal care. One was a Ecuadorian girl of 16 who desperately wants to keep her baby, but fears the repercussions from her strict family. She is a typical "good girl," who strives to get good grades in high school - both to live up to her family's expectations and to fulfill her dreams of going on to college - but who, like many girls we see every day, had an "accident" involving too much time alone with a boy. The boy involved in this particular situation is eager to see the problem "dealt with," even if the price was the life of his unborn son.

Seeing her little boy - 19 weeks old, according to our measurements - on the sonogram screen for the first time was a life-changing experienced for this young mother. He was bouncing around on the screen, agitated by his mother's stress levels and giving us some beautiful shots of his face, mouth open and smiling. Whereas before the girl was overcome by fears of how she would tell her parents about her "condition," after seeing the face of her son her attitude shifted towards love of her child. She was still in tears at the thought of disappointing and angering her parents, but her child gives her courage.

She is not the only one to have been inspired by the images of her unborn child. Dozens of women turn around every week, awe-struck at the plainly identifiable hands, feet, faces, ears, and heartbeats of their little ones. The sonogram provides mothers with undeniable proof: the unborn fetus is not a lump of tissue, but a living, conscious human child.

What Really Matters

There are many obstacles to the pro-life movement. The more obvious ones - abortion mill workers screaming obscenities at us, laws passed by greedy politicians to promote the abortion industry, and the like - are actually relatively easy to deal with.

The real wet blanket in this work comes from the clients themselves.

Because of the overwhelming indoctrination of the youth in today's culture, girls today are lead to believe that sex - and its 'consequences' - are "no big deal." They often agree with us that life begins at conception, and that abortion therefore takes the life of a living person...but they simply don't care. They place themselves and their petty excuses ("I'm too young." "I'm not ready for a baby." "My situation isn't right." "I don't want a baby with this guy.") above the life of their own child, and they openly acknowledge that fact.

It's depressing, to say the least. Those of us who work day in and day out to try to help these girls are often powerless to save them from themselves. Additionally, the large clientele often swamps those of us working there, limiting the time we have with each woman...and, in turn, our effectiveness. We often close out a day mentally exhausted and emotionally drained.

Still, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We do have girls who come in and are genuinely touched by our message. There was a beautiful young woman today who came in completely unsure of what to do, who felt abortion was her only option, and who was bound and determined to ward off all my efforts to pierce her barriers. Deep down inside, though, she was just frightened. The minute I told her there were other options, she began to cry...and didn't stop until she left, nearly half an hour later.

Already the victim of two abortions and caretaker of one surviving child, this wounded mother only wanted someone to reach out and offer her a gentle helping hand. We at the EMC Pregnancy Center were happy to be there for her, and all others like her...whether they appreciate and accept our efforts or not.

Too Many to Kill

It's depressing to be at Dr. Emily's abortion mill on any day, but Saturdays are legendary for their ability to sedate mothers into walking right past the sidewalk counselors without batting an eye.

I was out behind Dr. Emily's, becoming rather discouraged over the sad state of affairs (as of then, no one had really even spoken with me), when I had the opportunity to speak with a couple of young ladies who were heading through the gate. When I asked them why they were at the clinic, the younger woman snapped, "You know I'm here to take this baby out."

I was shocked at her flippancy, and surprised when her friend explained that she already had two little children at home. She firmly believed that she just couldn't handle a third.

Later that morning, as we were packing up to leave, both women came back out. The mother gave me a double thumbs up, a huge smile plastered on her face. After her attitude that morning, I thought she had gotten the abortion and was mocking me. I politely asked why she was so happy, and she responded, "If I had only one baby, he'd be dead; but God blessed me with two."

I was ecstatic. She couldn't come in to our pregnancy centers today, as she had to return to her two little ones at home, but she promised to call me soon to make an appointment.

God works in mysterious ways. This young mother believed the lies around her that three children was too many for her to take care of, and that the 'responsible' thing would be to kill her youngest child to 'take care of' this social problem. Instead of concurring with public opinion, God gave her more than she bargained for: a divine 'vote of confidence' in her abilities as a mother.

After all, God never gives us more than we can handle.

Everyday Miracles

It's amazing how many miracles happen every day. Little things like opening locked doors (with the key locked on the wrong side), locating one's destination through a maze of streets, or having a topic one has been agonizing about come up in casual conversation are miracles.

Take the case of one girl who came to our Brooklyn office today. She wandered in at the end of a very long day, with Linda shouting herself hoarse to a crowd of impatient women waiting for sonograms and their often less-than-interested friends. Between collecting sign-in papers, watching sonograms, and counseling, none of us had even taken a break for lunch. This beautiful young mother somehow found our office after speaking with a friend about her crisis pregnancy - she knows next to nothing about the father, and couldn't care less if she never sees him again - and miraculously finding our office building. Not only that, but she also made it past the two abortion clinics on her way up to us, with no more guidance than a sign in the building that labeled us as a pregnancy help center.

Up in the office, we were tired physically and emotionally; but we just can't turn anyone away. I was privileged with the opportunity to give up my (very late) lunch break to take her case.

As it turns out, lunch was nothing compared to this girl's problems. At 19 years old, she is a high school dropout. She is, for all reasonable purposes, homeless; she has been living with a friend for some time now. She calmly sat in our office and told Linda that she was applying to a pregnant women's shelter ("Shelters are for rats, not beautiful girls like you!" Says Linda), so she would have somewhere to live when the baby was born.

She is determined to keep her baby. She had an abortion several years back, and was so traumatized by the experience that she vowed never to do it again. Even when her sonogram - the last one we did that day - revealed that the baby was too young to get a clear picture, she smiled knowing that her little one was (according to the sonogram) growing well. She agreed to come back in a few weeks, and is eager to begin prenatal care at our clinic. We also contacted the Sisters of Life and several other maternal home organizers to try to find her a nice place to live while awaiting the arrival of her child.

None of our counselors changed this young woman's mind. We could have shown her the best videos we have or given her the most scientifically accurate information on fetal development available, and she could still have chosen to get an abortion.

God changed her mind. He chooses to work through the prayers and efforts of lowly servants like us - and you - to save these mothers and their precious infants.

Raising Babies

I guess I never realized just how much it takes to raise a baby. Bringing several carloads of diapers, baby wipes, and baby bottles up to the clinic - and subsequently being told that those supplies would have to be stretched to last four months at our distribution rate - really opened my eyes to that fact. It was something to keep in mind as I counseled a 15-year-old girl, 4 weeks pregnant, who came into the clinic dead-set on having an abortion because, in her words, "I'm too young. I'm just too young."

As Liz, our clinic director, pointed out: "If you're too young to have a baby you're too young to have sex." It was a little too late for our young mother, but she definitely got the point.

Hopefully, some healing tears while watching our videos and some support from her boyfriend will help her get through this situation. She still wasn't thoroughly convinced to keep her tiny baby, but she said she would discuss things with her boyfriend.

If she decides to keep her little boy or girl, she will be just one of several mothers whose eyes were opened to the truth at our clinic today. Her decision, like theirs, will be life-changing; but, at the very least, she will not have to live with the regret and shame that comes with having killed her own child in the name of "choice."

Looking Up

New York is certainly different from any other place I've lived or done mission work. At the abortion mills in Pittsburgh, where I prayed during the school year, there are "Pro-Choice Escorts" who literally drag the mothers past the prayer supporters and sidewalk counselors.

At Dr. Emily's, that is not the case. It's a bit heartening that counselors can actually speak with the girls to some extent, but discouraging that what is considered a quiet day at Dr. Emily's is a relatively busy day at the clinics in Pittsburgh. With so many women and children being hurt each day, it's sometimes hard to tell if we're even making a difference.

It was cloudy all afternoon. The weather forecast called for rain, and we all brought umbrellas in case. There was even some talk of leaving if things got too bad.

Then, around the time the last post-abortive woman left the clinic, the clouds cleared. Seeing that bit of blue sky surrounded by clouds reminded me that God is in control, even outside an abortion clinic in New York City.