Sad Men

The pro-life community is constantly talking about the emotional and psychological affects abortions have on women. The hurt and pain women feel after an abortion is a harsh reality that leaves them in need of true healing. However, what the pro-life community rarely talks about are the emotional strains that post abortive men go through. Our culture tries to make it seem as though men are not affected by abortion and that is is simply a women's issue dealing with so called "women's rights." This is a grave mistake. No one, I repeat, no one is left untouched by the damage of an abortion.

Men who are involved in abortions are usually in one of four positions. One, they encourage or coerce the woman to get the abortion. Two, they say they don't care what the woman decides as long as it makes her happy. Three, they strongly oppose the idea and plead with the woman not to get the abortion. Or four, they don't find out about it till afterwards.

In each circumstance, the man can come to regret the abortion and be in need of healing just as the woman is. Some of the root reasons for why a man will have this regret is because of his natural inclination to defend, protect, comfort, and provide for his family. He will see the abortion as a failure to defend the life of his innocent child, a failure to protect the body and spirit of his wife of girlfriend, and a failure to provide for whatever needs the woman or child might have had. The pain the woman suffers from he sees as a failure to comfort and relieve her. He may see himself as having abandoned the woman in her time of need by simply not being present or aware of the abortion decision. He may also feel this way for having pressured her into the abortion and failing to lead and guide her to choose life for his child.

Since both men and women are involved in creating a child, it only follows that they are both affected by the ending of the child's life. Men in post abortive circumstances ought not to be pitied, but rather they ought to be empowered to speak up about the destructive power of abortion and seek healing for their wounds.