In the begining of December I met a girl who would become the most miraculous story I've had to date. Crystal has been in an unhealthy marriage for the past three years and is currently fighting a custody battle for her two little girls. With a drug abuse history, Crystal struggles to take care of herself, let alone trying to prove to state authorities that she can care for two little ones. Being post-abortive she knows all too well the pain and heartache women carry their whole lives after having an abortion. With all this and more on her shoulders, Chrystal and my paths crossed.
Crystal's husband had brought her to Dr. Emily's abortion clinic, the largest abortion clinic in the South Bronx, against her will. When we asked if we could help her, she screamed out, "Talk to him! He's making me do it!" (Later we found out that he had in fact tried to strangle her that very same morning!). She made it outside the clinic a little later and took down my number. In a couple hours when I was back at the Lifehouse, she called and asked if I could pick her up. I asked Chris Slattery, president of Expectant Mother Care, if I could do this and bring her back to the Lifehouse. He understood the urgency of the situation and allowed me to do it. She came back to the Lifehouse with me, and I immediately tried to contact materinty homes, drug rehab programs, and the Sisters of Life hoping that they could take her in and that her will to save her baby would persist. Unfortunately no one was able to help on so short notice; it was a Saturday afternoon. So with Chris' permission, she stayed for four days. But then Crystal took her own road and I was only left with my Faith that God would keep her safe.
Months went by and nothing happened, save the occasional text message to see if she was ok. One night during the week, I recieved a phone call from Crystal saying she needed a place to stay for the weekend. Chris again thought that it would be fine to take her in. Finding out that she had been with her abusive husband the whole time I felt she had let me down. Trying to be hopeful for her and the baby, I again did everything I could for her. Chris was even able to take her to a methadone clinic to help her out because of her previous substance abuse. By the end of the weekend she assured me that she would be okay with her husband and said goodbye. We still kept in contact though. A couple weeks later she called me back after numerous attempts I made to get a hold of her and told me she was staying with Missionaries of Charity here in NYC at the Pregnant women's shelter.
Just this past Friday, I got a call from the Sisters of Life informing me that Crystal had just left the shelter and her husband was trying to force her to abort again the following day. At this point she was 24 weeks pregnant, right at the legal limit to abort in the state of New York. I couldn't reach her, her husband wasn't allowing her to pick up her phone. Then after her husband had a very prolonged conversation with the Sisters of Life, he finally cracked and let the Lord in. He apologized to me, he apologized to Crystal, he expressed great remorse for his past actions but also exuberance in the future to live for Christ and to try to be a good person.
So finally, Crystal is on her way to delivering a beautiful little girl. She gave me the sonogram picture to prove it! She's expected to deliver June 20. God is good!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Miracles Do Happen!
How often have you seen the bumper sticker with the pro-life slogan "Take My Hand, Not My Life"? It is a beautiful sticker! It has a powerful message, one that became even more powerful on Monday at the pregnancy center that we went to.
We arrived at the center and after group counseling the girls were taken back one at a time to see their sonograms. There is something so beautiful about the connection between a woman and her child at that moment. It is almost like they get to meet each other for the first time. For most girls, you can see in their eyes the confirmation of what they knew to be true in their hearts all along- that they have a baby living and growing inside of them.
One of the first girls to be brought back was still unsure about whether she was going to keep her baby or go through with the abortion. Then the miracle happened. Linda came in and asked the girl if she would like to hold her baby's hand. Then Linda took the girl's hand and put it on her stomach. Everyone was praying that God would touch her heart. On the sonogram screen we could see, clearly and unmistakeably, the baby (who was about 22 weeks old) reach her precious little hand up and rest it against the place where she could feel her mother's hand! It was beautiful!! Then, the baby, as if reaching out to her mother, put her other hand there too! The baby would not let go until the mother removed her hand.
Everyone in the room knew that we had witnessed a miracle and the phrase "Take My Hand, not My Life" suddenly became real to each one of us.
We arrived at the center and after group counseling the girls were taken back one at a time to see their sonograms. There is something so beautiful about the connection between a woman and her child at that moment. It is almost like they get to meet each other for the first time. For most girls, you can see in their eyes the confirmation of what they knew to be true in their hearts all along- that they have a baby living and growing inside of them.
One of the first girls to be brought back was still unsure about whether she was going to keep her baby or go through with the abortion. Then the miracle happened. Linda came in and asked the girl if she would like to hold her baby's hand. Then Linda took the girl's hand and put it on her stomach. Everyone was praying that God would touch her heart. On the sonogram screen we could see, clearly and unmistakeably, the baby (who was about 22 weeks old) reach her precious little hand up and rest it against the place where she could feel her mother's hand! It was beautiful!! Then, the baby, as if reaching out to her mother, put her other hand there too! The baby would not let go until the mother removed her hand.
Everyone in the room knew that we had witnessed a miracle and the phrase "Take My Hand, not My Life" suddenly became real to each one of us.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Christina from the South Bronx
This story doesn't have a happy ending. But it shows what's in a day's, and week's, work for EMC. I met Christina Lopez (name changed for this post) outside Emily's one morning about a month ago. She stopped without much effort on my part, and she went to the minibus with me to get a free sonogram. She was a pretty easy turnaround, after she saw her sonogram of her 20 week old baby, she knew she wanted to keep it. However, through the counseling session horrible things became known to me. Her boyfriend, who had been her boyfriend for 6 years and was her first child's father when she was only 13, was violent and abusive, and pressured her every day of her pregnancy to get the abortion.
She lived in government subsidized housing in one of the worst places in the Bronx. I found out that her boyfriend didnt live with her, and when I asked why didn't she just lock him out, she said that he had kicked in the door and broke the lock. Her stuff had been getting stolen ever since. He would just come in whenever he wanted and have his way with her. And then tell her to make sure she got that abortion.
Soo.. I ended up going down to her place that day and bought a lock for her door, installed it, and hung out with her for the afternoon. Clare and I went to Mass with her the Sunday after, and got lunch with her.
A week later, at a subsequent meeting, she told me that she had gotten the abortion. She couldn't escape the pressure anymore, every day he had been telling her that he would do it himself if she didn't get it done. She felt horrible, she cried, she prayed she would be forgiven. She had already signed up for a Sisters of Life retreat before I had to suggest it to her. She was genuinely sorry. I felt so bad for her, and I told her that I forgave her. It was all I could do at that point. Please pray for Christina. She recently moved and said she would call me with her new number, please pray that she tries to keep in touch.
First day reactions
After only three days here in New York I have gotten a small taste of what it means to be truly pro-life. Yesterday I went to the EMC pregnancy center and today we prayed in front of the abortion mill. I was really inspired by the other counselors, interns and volunteers who have given so much of their time and effort to pro-life. It has been an intense experience for me, but it is an amazing privilege to be a part of the lives of these women in need of help and to be there to love and care for a child that I may never meet, except in Heaven. At the same time, it is sad to see first hand the effects of a society that has failed to recognize the dignity of each human person. Today, more than ever before in my life, I realized the need for compassion and love in the pro-life movement. I used to get angry at the thought of so many children dying every day, but as I watched the women entering the clinic today I could only feel love. It is a privilege to offer the women and children- with my prayers and presence- all my love. It is my prayer that God's grace will reach out to their hearts and give them the support they need to choose life.
"That's exactly what I need....."
What a beautiful day it was! The first day in months that I actually wanted to be outside. I knew right then it was going to be a good day in the baby saving business. So there I was talking to the mothers, fathers, friends and praying the rosary in between all the conversations; when I noticed a couple walking in. I wasn't able to talk to them going in but they no sooner came out and I took the window of opportunity to say something. I informed them that we had free help for pregnant women and proceeded to ask if they were pregnant. "Yes" was her answer, "Well how many weeks are you?" I then asked. She didn't know, and I was glad to offer her a free sonogram in our mobile clinic to see. "That's exactly what I need", she told me; then started running on about medicaid or insurance saying that Dr. Emily's told her that's what see needed and so forth. Quietly listening, I ushered them into the mini-bus. At Dr. Emily's, if the women can not afford an abortion they will give them the information on how and where to go to get emergency medicaid which will pay for the abortion. New York State taxes willing fund these abortions.
18 weeks! Wow, this baby was all over the screen; waving, bouncing, and just loved being the star of the show. Much to the surprise of the young parents, their baby was not just a blob of tissue. Finding out what was really wrong, why they really "couldn't" have this baby was soon to follow. Eighteen, still in school, bad relationship with mom, and boyfriend was about to lose his job; no easy situation(never is). No sooner than later, by the grace of God, these two became more and more hopeful about their situation. After talking everything through they were so thankful that I stopped them. Saying that is was a sign from God that they didn't have insurance and the mother even wanted to be a motivational speaker for teens and tell her story. They left that day saying we were going to be invited to the baby shower and to keep in touch!
After all those long winter months of hardly getting the chance to speak to so few girls, God rewards us with a beautiful day and a beautiful baby with two very hopeful determined parents to make the best out of life! Thank you Jesus!
Emily's strikes back
Over the past month Dr. Emily's abortion clinic has been posting signs on thier entryways reading
"Tell all abortion protestors: This is America, Mind your own business."
Pretty absurd. The first absurd thing is that we arent really protestors so much as we are pregnancy counselors and helpers. These women don't know the type of help that is out there for them. The second absurd thing is that even if we were protestors, it's precisely because we live in America that we cherish the ability to say what we want wherever we want. America is "Home of the Free," not "Home of the Moral People who should stay inside and keep their good intentions to themselves."
The good thing about it, which I'll never tell the clinic, is that it actually lets bystanders and neighbors see what they do inside the clinic. The sign otherwise just reads "Dr. Emily's Women's Services Clinic: a Bronx Women's Medical Pavillion." Now that it says "Abortion" somewhere on the door, people know what they're doing in there, and we're actually seeing more support from the community. Bottom line, the truth is on pro-lifers' side. Let the darkness of the abortion industry come into the light, and people will see it and despise it for what it really is.
Lenten 40 Days For Life
Couple hours before Lent began in 2009 a small group of people pray in front of the largest abortion facility in Bronx, NY. At 11:30pm, in a not so safe neighborhood, 7 of us light one hundred little candles for the one hundred little babies who's lives were ended every week at that very spot. Standing in the cold that night, praying for a few hours I had this feeling that the next 40 days were going to be grace filled 40 days. Being able to unite my suffering with the suffering of Christ makes the long hours of standing outside, praying without ceasing, and being mocked at turn to a time of joy instead of misery. I know, because I was taught, Our Lord has a special plan for each one of us everyday, but I feel the Holy Spirit has a shower of graces to give to those who participate in the next 40 day.
As we stood there praying aloud for all the mothers and their babies we had helped in the last couple months; a neighbor man walked by with a newly purchased pack of diapers. A little while later he was back and placed on the ground next to the one hundred candles one newborn diaper and said "For the babies" and walked off. Our hearts were touched. Not only are we there to help save the unborn but to help Jesus touch every heart of all who walk by.
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Emily's Closed for Day and a Half!
It was what we had been praying for all these days at the clinic. We showed up Friday morning and found that Dr. Emily's was not doing abortions! It was a sidewalk counselor's snow day. I brought a group of Fordham kids down this morning (Saturday), and again we pleasantly found ourselves useless outside the clinic (minus the prayers of course). Emily's opened up for a brief hour, between 11-12, so we counseled during that period. We found out from a secret source that the doctors were out learning "new procedures." Can't be good, but then again, can't be much worse than what they already do to these babies and mothers.
I wanted to share a quote I got from a Flannery O'Connor novel I'm reading. It's about a father who watches his mentally challenged son get murdered in front of his eyes.
"All he would do was be an observer. He waited with serenity. Life had never been
good enough for him to wince at it's destruction. He told himself that he was indifferent even to his own dissolution. It seemed that this indifference was the most that human dignity could achieve, and for the moment forgetting his lapses, forgetting even the narrow escape of the afternoon, he felt he had achieved it. To feel nothing was peace."
I think this quote captures alot of father's attitudes who walk their women and children into the clinic. It's an attitude of despair, followed by an indifference which is a solution to the pain and guilt they try so hard to suppress. Life sucked for them, it will suck for their child, and so for them it follows--what is the tragedy in destroying life if life sucks?
It's up to us to bring the hope of Christ to these people and help them realize that Christ loves them and we love them, and we want to do all we can to make life easier for them and their children. And who knows, as I'll often tell them, maybe your child will be one to make life a little better for everyone else.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
At Emily's
Myself and Julie,one of our top counselors, were at Dr. Emily's.Julie had a girl in our mobil clinic getting a sonogram and a couple pulled up and parked near the fence.Initially they didn't seem interested in changing there minds.They were going in and the man hit his automatic car starter-I think by mistake-and I yelled at him that he started his car.They proceded into the 'clinic'.He came out a few minutes later and I asked to him to just look at our pamphlet which he did.He started reading it and seemed a little dumb founded by what he was reading and seeing.As he looked at the picture of an aborted baby I told him that was what they were going to do to his baby and to not let them throw his baby in the garbage.He started walking back in and I told him to get his lady out of there and he nodded back.About a half hour to 45 minutes passed and the couple came out I asked the man if they were keeping the baby and he smiled and shook his head yes.He started the car and they sat in the parking lot for several minutes.I prayed several memoraries that they would leave and they eventually pulled out and I gave them the thumbs up.Julie had a couple turnarounds so it was nice to see some of the fruits of our labors.We will keep this couple in our prayers as well as the other girls that turnaround as the devil will try and sucker them back to the killing center. Jeff Asmussen
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
It kept falling and falling.....
As I ly awake in my bed early this morning I heard the rain hitting the house and I knew I was going to be in it all day. I sighed as the thought of being cold and wet came to mind, and suddenly found myself planning my layers of clothes to wear that day to stay warm. As the morning progress, as they often do, I prayed for less and less girls to enter the abortion mill for more than one reason; I wanted to be warm!
Every Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday morning the abortion mill in the South Bronx makes appointments for abortions. We are there! Today without keeping track I couldn't help but feel there were less women going in than normal, but more than we would like of course.
By the grace of God, I was able to talk a young girl, "Tina" into getting a sonogram which we offer in our mobile clinic parked around the corner. Tina brought with her her friend and boyfriend as "moral support". I soon left them in our mobile clinic with the wonderful sonogram technician and prayed to the Holy Spirit for conversion of heart. Not much time had passed when I saw them walking back up the sidewalk to enter the mill again. This time Tina had noticeably been crying, as she entered the doors of eternal regret her friend gives me the "Don't shove your beliefs on other people" speech. I kindly tell her we not here to force beliefs on anyone, we're here to help. Softly she replies "I know" and walks in with Tina. Tina's boyfriend on the other hand stood back starring at the doors as if starring out in space. Making eye contact with me he sincerely says "Thank you". I notice his eyes are misty; I tell him she's not alone in having this baby. "You're not alone" I say to him. After a somewhat long pause; with hesitation he walks in to be with Tina. Many prayers I feel went to Our Lord for them at that moment for not a hour later as I mingled at the back entrance Tina and her two companions walked out of darkness hoping for the light. With not much to say they disappeared into the New York disarray. Praise Jesus for these souls were spared! His Mercy is endless!
Every Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday morning the abortion mill in the South Bronx makes appointments for abortions. We are there! Today without keeping track I couldn't help but feel there were less women going in than normal, but more than we would like of course.
By the grace of God, I was able to talk a young girl, "Tina" into getting a sonogram which we offer in our mobile clinic parked around the corner. Tina brought with her her friend and boyfriend as "moral support". I soon left them in our mobile clinic with the wonderful sonogram technician and prayed to the Holy Spirit for conversion of heart. Not much time had passed when I saw them walking back up the sidewalk to enter the mill again. This time Tina had noticeably been crying, as she entered the doors of eternal regret her friend gives me the "Don't shove your beliefs on other people" speech. I kindly tell her we not here to force beliefs on anyone, we're here to help. Softly she replies "I know" and walks in with Tina. Tina's boyfriend on the other hand stood back starring at the doors as if starring out in space. Making eye contact with me he sincerely says "Thank you". I notice his eyes are misty; I tell him she's not alone in having this baby. "You're not alone" I say to him. After a somewhat long pause; with hesitation he walks in to be with Tina. Many prayers I feel went to Our Lord for them at that moment for not a hour later as I mingled at the back entrance Tina and her two companions walked out of darkness hoping for the light. With not much to say they disappeared into the New York disarray. Praise Jesus for these souls were spared! His Mercy is endless!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Abortion Row
It was a cold Thursday afternoon in Queens, NY outside what we call "abortion row". Outside these two abortion clinics almost back to back we setup a table with a TV and pro life literature which we pass out to anyone willing to take it from our hands. The video we have constantly repeating is call Abort73, a video showing baby fetuses after they have undergone the horrors of abortion. This movie without a doubt has the most gore I've ever seen in a movie. The passersby who are going about their daily business find themselves face to face with abortion.
This particular day I spent 6-7 hours witnessing to Life in front of "abortion row". I saw this one man whom I handed a Spanish brochure and thought he might have come out of one the clinics, his eyes were mesmerized by the video. The look on his face was heart wrenching. I went up to him and asked "Do you have a loved one in there?" I pointed to the clinic stairwell, he barely looked up at me and said "No ingles". So I went back to passing out literature, but couldn't help but notice the man stood there for a long time watching one graphic picture after another of cut up babies. I wanted to hug this man, I wanted to reach out to him somehow but with the language barrier it would have been impossible. So I prayed for him and all those suffering from abortion especially those in Queens, NY. As I prayed I knew I would never know the pain and suffering they know, with a warm tear running down my cheek I praised God for His mercy.
This particular day I spent 6-7 hours witnessing to Life in front of "abortion row". I saw this one man whom I handed a Spanish brochure and thought he might have come out of one the clinics, his eyes were mesmerized by the video. The look on his face was heart wrenching. I went up to him and asked "Do you have a loved one in there?" I pointed to the clinic stairwell, he barely looked up at me and said "No ingles". So I went back to passing out literature, but couldn't help but notice the man stood there for a long time watching one graphic picture after another of cut up babies. I wanted to hug this man, I wanted to reach out to him somehow but with the language barrier it would have been impossible. So I prayed for him and all those suffering from abortion especially those in Queens, NY. As I prayed I knew I would never know the pain and suffering they know, with a warm tear running down my cheek I praised God for His mercy.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Outside the Clinic
I once thought that counseling outside a clinic was a mean thing to do, that hounding the women only lead to greater levels of depression and suicidally, that these women were already grief stricken and that it simply added to their pain. Then I started doing it.
The women we help don't want abortions, they are struggling with economic hardship and poverty, and they simply want help. This is the foundation by which the prolife movement is based upon, love is our cornerstone and hounding the girls is not part of the program.
Take "Amanda" for example this is not her real name however she wanted an abortion, until she heard their was help. Amanda lived in poverty, had an abusive boyfriend and had 4 children. She was raped with her first child and still braved the pregnancy and gave birth, and followed up by having several more children. We spoke outside of Dr Emily's (the abortion clinic here in the S. Bronx) and gently I told her about the programs we had available, she looked unconvinced. Then I suggested a free sonogram. She looked at the van and then broke down, she admitted she couldn't kill this life any more than she could any of her others and she stepped into our van for a sonogram. A life saved thanks to modern day technology and somebody who cared enough to say hi and listen.
The women we help don't want abortions, they are struggling with economic hardship and poverty, and they simply want help. This is the foundation by which the prolife movement is based upon, love is our cornerstone and hounding the girls is not part of the program.
Take "Amanda" for example this is not her real name however she wanted an abortion, until she heard their was help. Amanda lived in poverty, had an abusive boyfriend and had 4 children. She was raped with her first child and still braved the pregnancy and gave birth, and followed up by having several more children. We spoke outside of Dr Emily's (the abortion clinic here in the S. Bronx) and gently I told her about the programs we had available, she looked unconvinced. Then I suggested a free sonogram. She looked at the van and then broke down, she admitted she couldn't kill this life any more than she could any of her others and she stepped into our van for a sonogram. A life saved thanks to modern day technology and somebody who cared enough to say hi and listen.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Abstinance is Best
"I want an abortion." Those words never seem to sit easy with me. I know the pressure of a boyfriend is all it would take to push any girl over the edge from choosing life to choosing death, and that's something this girl had. Her boyfriend sat with her and admitted to being a peer counselor with Planned Parenthood. I was shocked to see this girl in our office. As I set her on the task of taking a test her boyfriend sat in the waiting room. As we let it cook we started to discuss abstinance as a possiblity for their relationship. She said she'd consider it however my co-worker Liz and I were far from convinced... then we showed her Liz's book. The book is composed by Liz and includes newspaper clippings showing the effects of abortion as well different clippings regarding STD's. Then one article caught her eye, it was on Gardisil the HPV vaccination. She proudly admitted to taking a dose of the vaccine.
Liz then broke the news to her, the HPV virus has many strains and though their were specific viruses targeted that on a whole fewer viruses were defeated by the vaccine than were not. She looked at us with grave concern. As her test continued to cook we ran through the gamut of STD's and the effectiveness or should I say the ineffectiveness of condoms. She looked teary as we explained how they often were not effective against viruses such as HPV that were transmitted by skin to skin contact. Then she begged us for the name of a GYN, which we promptly provided her with. She looked with scorn toward the room with her boyfriend who when we suggested abstinence looked absolutely appalled.
We don't try and break up couples however we do try and educate them, her test came back negative but she was changed. Her ability to make good decisions, decisions that would help her stay healthy, and safe was secured by our message, which is His message. God makes rules regarding sex in order to keep us safe, I was just sharing them.
Liz then broke the news to her, the HPV virus has many strains and though their were specific viruses targeted that on a whole fewer viruses were defeated by the vaccine than were not. She looked at us with grave concern. As her test continued to cook we ran through the gamut of STD's and the effectiveness or should I say the ineffectiveness of condoms. She looked teary as we explained how they often were not effective against viruses such as HPV that were transmitted by skin to skin contact. Then she begged us for the name of a GYN, which we promptly provided her with. She looked with scorn toward the room with her boyfriend who when we suggested abstinence looked absolutely appalled.
We don't try and break up couples however we do try and educate them, her test came back negative but she was changed. Her ability to make good decisions, decisions that would help her stay healthy, and safe was secured by our message, which is His message. God makes rules regarding sex in order to keep us safe, I was just sharing them.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
What about Adoption?
"It isn't fair to the baby, for me to have it, I mean" began this 18 year old college freshman sitting in the office today. I began to explain the procedure but as always my words could not command the attention that our video library did.
After watching one of the videos on the procedures and repercussions of abortions she began to turn. "I just had no idea... what about adoption? It's kind of what I wanted from the beginning but the process is so expensive (she had read it would cost her $400 to put her baby up for adoption) and complicated". I explained gently that it was not an overnight fix but that when counseling and the process was finished it was the most loving, gentlest and kindness option available. I also explained that it would be free for her.
I told her she would be a hero in the eyes of God, something she looked sheepish about. We agreed that she and her boyfriend would return Monday to discuss it further, as it would be in part his decision.
I pray for her today and for all the mothers out there that are faced with the option of adoption. It is the the most selfless act an unwed mother could make and I pray that she be greatly rewarded for her decision.
After watching one of the videos on the procedures and repercussions of abortions she began to turn. "I just had no idea... what about adoption? It's kind of what I wanted from the beginning but the process is so expensive (she had read it would cost her $400 to put her baby up for adoption) and complicated". I explained gently that it was not an overnight fix but that when counseling and the process was finished it was the most loving, gentlest and kindness option available. I also explained that it would be free for her.
I told her she would be a hero in the eyes of God, something she looked sheepish about. We agreed that she and her boyfriend would return Monday to discuss it further, as it would be in part his decision.
I pray for her today and for all the mothers out there that are faced with the option of adoption. It is the the most selfless act an unwed mother could make and I pray that she be greatly rewarded for her decision.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
God Never Gives Us More Than We Can Handle
Let's take in baby steps I tell this soon to be mommy-again. This is her fifth child and she is clearly scared, as am I. She has every intention of aborting her child. Her children range from 16 to 20 months and now her body is slowly preparing for her 5th. This mother has suffered through an abortion already and looks scared at the prospect of having another.
I listen as she explains her needs, primarily childcare for 20 month old and then a thought comes to me. I worked as a coworker for the Sisters of Life for about a year (and still do) during that time I provided women with child care, as well as other services. I asked her if she would mind if I gave them a call, because I knew they are a wealth of resources for expectant mothers. With gratitude in her eyes she say I could make the call.
Then she stopped me and told me that she loved children, that she in fact loved the child inside of her but that she felt she had to sacrifice him or her in order to provide a better life for the children she already had. I shook my head knowing she was the woman I always wanted to help, I always wanted to pray for, the woman backed into a corner with no other place. It was then that she told me she knew in her heart the Lord never gives us more than we can handle- at this I nodded and called Sister at the Visitation mission in Manhattan.
After talking with her for an hour on my cell she looked not only relieved but happy. Teamwork is essential in this war for souls, and thankfully we have God on our side. She left, and I knew both her a her baby were safe.
I listen as she explains her needs, primarily childcare for 20 month old and then a thought comes to me. I worked as a coworker for the Sisters of Life for about a year (and still do) during that time I provided women with child care, as well as other services. I asked her if she would mind if I gave them a call, because I knew they are a wealth of resources for expectant mothers. With gratitude in her eyes she say I could make the call.
Then she stopped me and told me that she loved children, that she in fact loved the child inside of her but that she felt she had to sacrifice him or her in order to provide a better life for the children she already had. I shook my head knowing she was the woman I always wanted to help, I always wanted to pray for, the woman backed into a corner with no other place. It was then that she told me she knew in her heart the Lord never gives us more than we can handle- at this I nodded and called Sister at the Visitation mission in Manhattan.
After talking with her for an hour on my cell she looked not only relieved but happy. Teamwork is essential in this war for souls, and thankfully we have God on our side. She left, and I knew both her a her baby were safe.
Survivor
As she stepped into our office I could see this young woman's stomach protruding from what I must assume was a once flat belly. It could be from beer but she's not old enough to drink. At the age of 15, this little one had an abortion, or so she thought.Her story went that her aunt took her for an abortion 2 months ago and had decided for her to terminate the pregnancy, a distressing situation for any woman, forced by another to make that "choice". Basically a sort of rape in the form of abortion. Although this in and of itself is not an uncommon story (whether it be the boyfriend, mother, or some other relative that simply cannot grasp that their is a life involved here) the end result is uncommon.
She claimed she still "felt pregnant" although she hadn't had sex since previously getting pregnancy. My initial reaction was that it was psychological, that she felt pregnant but that she wasn't. Then the test came back... the little pink line told everything. A botched abortion.
Fear then ran in all of our hearts, was the baby damaged, how big was she, how did the abortion affect the baby or the mother? We quickly raced her across town to a free sonogram clinic also run by the EMC crisis pregnancy centers.Then came the sonogram came back, or rather the sound that was sweeter than any man could make, it was a heart beat. A strong, powerful heartbeat. The center in Brooklyn had called us to not only confirm the pregnancy but to privilege us with the baby's 30 week old heartbeat. She is a survivor as is her mommy.
She claimed she still "felt pregnant" although she hadn't had sex since previously getting pregnancy. My initial reaction was that it was psychological, that she felt pregnant but that she wasn't. Then the test came back... the little pink line told everything. A botched abortion.
Fear then ran in all of our hearts, was the baby damaged, how big was she, how did the abortion affect the baby or the mother? We quickly raced her across town to a free sonogram clinic also run by the EMC crisis pregnancy centers.Then came the sonogram came back, or rather the sound that was sweeter than any man could make, it was a heart beat. A strong, powerful heartbeat. The center in Brooklyn had called us to not only confirm the pregnancy but to privilege us with the baby's 30 week old heartbeat. She is a survivor as is her mommy.
Gaurdian Angels
But I can't have this kid... I'm still in high school". This is the third girl this week who has told me she can't keep her baby because she's in school. The rain is pouring down as I gently remind her of her options, that their is help available and she doesn't need to abort. Her mind still lingers on what she is convinced is a simple procedure.
I show her the video, I show her the second video. Suddenly her eyes are brimming with tears. Shame was apparent on her face as she rubbed her stomach and I could see the wheels turning in her head as we sat in silence.
As St Francis said, "preach the gospel at all times, when necessary use words". I gently reach over and touch her hand reminding her she's not alone in this war for her soul. Her friends sits on her left and I realize now this baby's life is secure. Fr Pavone says "America won't reject abortion until it sees abortion". The more women I counsel at the EMC pregnancy center the more I realize how true this is. Tonight I will pray for the mothers and the almost mothers, may they find their own guardian angels and may they be their children's guardian angels.
I show her the video, I show her the second video. Suddenly her eyes are brimming with tears. Shame was apparent on her face as she rubbed her stomach and I could see the wheels turning in her head as we sat in silence.
As St Francis said, "preach the gospel at all times, when necessary use words". I gently reach over and touch her hand reminding her she's not alone in this war for her soul. Her friends sits on her left and I realize now this baby's life is secure. Fr Pavone says "America won't reject abortion until it sees abortion". The more women I counsel at the EMC pregnancy center the more I realize how true this is. Tonight I will pray for the mothers and the almost mothers, may they find their own guardian angels and may they be their children's guardian angels.
If Not Me Than Who?
Although I've been here a couple of weeks I thought now as good a time as any to try my hand at blogging. To give all of you out there some background as to who I am I am a 29 year old female, new to this great of NY. I was a former doula now turned prolife advocate, becoming a voice for those without one- the unborn....What would make me give up a life that was, for the most part comfortable, settled, to come to NYC to fight a battle that many would say is a lost cause? Very simply, if not me than who? If it was not my battle to fight than who's is it? Is the unborn's? Nestled comfortably in the womb of their mothers they have no voice, they have no advocate... If not me than who?
What many do not realize is the 7 out of 10 mothers suffer from mood swings in the first trimester, a result of hormonal adjustments being made (source:What To Expect When Your Expecting) that can result in her being less than overjoyed with her pregnancy. This sort of imbalance coupled with the worldly stress put upon her can lead a mother to contemplate abortion. This is where my job begins.I work for the EMC crisis pregnancy clinics in the Bronx. Day in and day out calls come in from women who are vulnerable to abortion. My job is to turn these women around to show them abortion, to explain to them abortion, to make them understand their lives are never to be the same. Whether a woman chooses life or chooses death they will never be the same.
Although ultimately it is their decision it is ultimately my responsibility (and yours- if you agree with this cause) to educate them on their choice.This blog is dedicated to those women and those children who come into our clinics and I see as I sidewalk counsel- for those who choose life may their lives be blessed, for those who choose death may they find healing, and for those who I inspire, may God have mercy on your soul, and please help any way you can because one voice can change the world.
What many do not realize is the 7 out of 10 mothers suffer from mood swings in the first trimester, a result of hormonal adjustments being made (source:What To Expect When Your Expecting) that can result in her being less than overjoyed with her pregnancy. This sort of imbalance coupled with the worldly stress put upon her can lead a mother to contemplate abortion. This is where my job begins.I work for the EMC crisis pregnancy clinics in the Bronx. Day in and day out calls come in from women who are vulnerable to abortion. My job is to turn these women around to show them abortion, to explain to them abortion, to make them understand their lives are never to be the same. Whether a woman chooses life or chooses death they will never be the same.
Although ultimately it is their decision it is ultimately my responsibility (and yours- if you agree with this cause) to educate them on their choice.This blog is dedicated to those women and those children who come into our clinics and I see as I sidewalk counsel- for those who choose life may their lives be blessed, for those who choose death may they find healing, and for those who I inspire, may God have mercy on your soul, and please help any way you can because one voice can change the world.
Friday, September 19, 2008
An Actor's Perspective
My internship with EMC, lasting over two months, has been a great opportunity to grow as a Catholic and a human being. Spiritually and emotionally it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. When I think back on this experience, it will be primarily with gratitude for these benefits. My internship, however, offered me another opportunity - one that ties in with my career plans.
A senior now at Ave Maria University, I intend to attend an acting school in NY or elsewhere when I graduate. NYC, of course, is the Mecca for theatre, the Bethlehem for Broadway, so to speak. In my spare time, I attended many shows, Broadway and off-Broadway, the tickets to some of which Chris was generous enough to obtain for us, free of charge. I also was able to look into several conservatories and schools in the city, and to research their acting programs. I'm very grateful for that opportunity.
Many good, faithful Catholics and Christians tend to frown upon the arts in today's society, especially the theatrical and cinematic arts. It is not surprising, I suppose, due to the degrading sexual, violent, and language content of so many plays and films. It is true that it is quite easy for these particular arts to become corrupted, but they are also weapons that we, as Christians and prolifers, can use to great positive effect. Witness Bella and Passion of the Christ, both acclaimed by audiences and critics alike. But, then, there are also fine movies without explicitly Christian overtones. Witness It's a Wonderful Life or Schindler's List or even Saving Private Ryan. Any movie that is a good piece of art will reveal a truth about our human nature, and many movies do so. And truth always brings us closer to God.
Just as movies can be put to noble use, so can the vocation of acting be a noble one. It is an art, for those who are serious actors, and not just a quest for fame and fortune. And it is one of the greatest arts, I think - one of the most personal arts, more so than painting or writing or sculpting, because the instrument is not a paintbrush or a pen and paper but oneself. It calls for immense self-discipline and self-scrutiny, but above all it calls for understanding. Understanding of oneself, yes, but also of others. An actor cannot realistically portray another human being on the stage or screen if he cannot extend understanding and sympathy towards his character's situation. Thus many actors become better actors as they become better human beings, and vice versa. Many actors become confused in the extension of their sympathy, granted.
You find many liberal actors today campaigning to save a rare species of African bug, or the trees and moose in Alaska. If only they could have interned with EMC - they would have surely determined to extend their energetic sympathies towards the unborn babies and the trapped, pregnant mothers, who are far more needy of their sympathy than a moose, or a bug, or a tree. Seeing and speaking with these poor, exploited women has changed me, firstly and most importantly, as a person and a Catholic, but it has also improved, in terms of acting, my understanding and humility, confronted with these mothers who are, in many cases, truly beautiful people, but only confused and deceived by society's lies.
-Dan
A senior now at Ave Maria University, I intend to attend an acting school in NY or elsewhere when I graduate. NYC, of course, is the Mecca for theatre, the Bethlehem for Broadway, so to speak. In my spare time, I attended many shows, Broadway and off-Broadway, the tickets to some of which Chris was generous enough to obtain for us, free of charge. I also was able to look into several conservatories and schools in the city, and to research their acting programs. I'm very grateful for that opportunity.
Many good, faithful Catholics and Christians tend to frown upon the arts in today's society, especially the theatrical and cinematic arts. It is not surprising, I suppose, due to the degrading sexual, violent, and language content of so many plays and films. It is true that it is quite easy for these particular arts to become corrupted, but they are also weapons that we, as Christians and prolifers, can use to great positive effect. Witness Bella and Passion of the Christ, both acclaimed by audiences and critics alike. But, then, there are also fine movies without explicitly Christian overtones. Witness It's a Wonderful Life or Schindler's List or even Saving Private Ryan. Any movie that is a good piece of art will reveal a truth about our human nature, and many movies do so. And truth always brings us closer to God.
Just as movies can be put to noble use, so can the vocation of acting be a noble one. It is an art, for those who are serious actors, and not just a quest for fame and fortune. And it is one of the greatest arts, I think - one of the most personal arts, more so than painting or writing or sculpting, because the instrument is not a paintbrush or a pen and paper but oneself. It calls for immense self-discipline and self-scrutiny, but above all it calls for understanding. Understanding of oneself, yes, but also of others. An actor cannot realistically portray another human being on the stage or screen if he cannot extend understanding and sympathy towards his character's situation. Thus many actors become better actors as they become better human beings, and vice versa. Many actors become confused in the extension of their sympathy, granted.
You find many liberal actors today campaigning to save a rare species of African bug, or the trees and moose in Alaska. If only they could have interned with EMC - they would have surely determined to extend their energetic sympathies towards the unborn babies and the trapped, pregnant mothers, who are far more needy of their sympathy than a moose, or a bug, or a tree. Seeing and speaking with these poor, exploited women has changed me, firstly and most importantly, as a person and a Catholic, but it has also improved, in terms of acting, my understanding and humility, confronted with these mothers who are, in many cases, truly beautiful people, but only confused and deceived by society's lies.
-Dan
Sunday, August 3, 2008
" OF COURSE I'M HAPPY...I'M KEEPING MY BABY"
My name is Maria, I am one of the interns of the EMC program this summer, and evr we have livesd millions of wonderful experiences I am going to tell you one that touched me deep inside. This is the story of Magda, a 31 years old and she found us by chance. But from the first time that I saw her I felt something special, like she was one of the women that you would never forget.
She had a special situation, she had had 5 abortions in her life, and she was looking for another one.
Mercedes and I talked with her for a while, we asked her if she knew what an abortion was and she just said that she had had 5 abortions and she really knew what was going on.
We used a graphic video in order to showed her the reality of the abortion, and she found out that she didn't know what she have been doing with her life.
Suddenly she started crying like she has never cried in her life and then we found out that she was ready to been asked the biggest question...What re you going to do?
She looked us with such a thankful eyes that we knew that she was going to keep the baby.
A week later we called her and she was with a completelly voice, full of hope and joy, and she told us that she was full of happyness because she WAS HAVING BABY!!!!!
This is for me the most important and special experience that I have had here, in NYC, tha capital of the abortion in USA.
I will never forget this woman I will never forget lots of situations and experiences that we have lived this special and complete summer, and for this I will always be thankful.
Maria
She had a special situation, she had had 5 abortions in her life, and she was looking for another one.
Mercedes and I talked with her for a while, we asked her if she knew what an abortion was and she just said that she had had 5 abortions and she really knew what was going on.
We used a graphic video in order to showed her the reality of the abortion, and she found out that she didn't know what she have been doing with her life.
Suddenly she started crying like she has never cried in her life and then we found out that she was ready to been asked the biggest question...What re you going to do?
She looked us with such a thankful eyes that we knew that she was going to keep the baby.
A week later we called her and she was with a completelly voice, full of hope and joy, and she told us that she was full of happyness because she WAS HAVING BABY!!!!!
This is for me the most important and special experience that I have had here, in NYC, tha capital of the abortion in USA.
I will never forget this woman I will never forget lots of situations and experiences that we have lived this special and complete summer, and for this I will always be thankful.
Maria
Saturday, August 2, 2008
RAN OUT OF WORDS:
My name is Nikos Daley. I came to the Bronx life House on May 28th not knowing what to expect. I'm blind and partially deaf and I had never counseled in a crisis pregnancy center or in front of an abortion clinic before, and I felt I was unprepared to take on this task. Even after the training I still felt like I was missing something. This is when I began to realize the importance of prayer.
Abortion counseling cannot succeed with out prayer because you are not doing the talking, God talks through you. I found that out the first time I counseled a woman. I wasn’t even a minute into the conversation when I just ran out of words. Try as I might, nothing came. Then I said a quick prayer asking for help and the words just came I didn’t even have to think about them.
I was also coming to realize that the devil was very real and was coming after us for doing God’s work. Satan wants to kill these babies and God wants to save them. If you don’t ask for his help you will not save anyone. God is always there with you in every conversation whether it’s in an office’ or in front of an abortion clinic; or in the middle of no where; God is always guiding you and running the show.
When I reflect on my experience here, I realize two things. First that God called each and every one of us for a reason. We may never know that reason but we didn’t come here by accident. The second comes from a quote my friend told me. "God doesn’t call the equip, he equips the called," And especially for this job, I think it’s very true. He doesn’t call millionaires or people with a lot of political power to do his work. He uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things, just because you are disabled doesn't mean you can't accomplish things, you just have to look inside a client's heart. You can physically see and be spiritually blind. If he calls you, he will equip you well!
Abortion counseling cannot succeed with out prayer because you are not doing the talking, God talks through you. I found that out the first time I counseled a woman. I wasn’t even a minute into the conversation when I just ran out of words. Try as I might, nothing came. Then I said a quick prayer asking for help and the words just came I didn’t even have to think about them.
I was also coming to realize that the devil was very real and was coming after us for doing God’s work. Satan wants to kill these babies and God wants to save them. If you don’t ask for his help you will not save anyone. God is always there with you in every conversation whether it’s in an office’ or in front of an abortion clinic; or in the middle of no where; God is always guiding you and running the show.
When I reflect on my experience here, I realize two things. First that God called each and every one of us for a reason. We may never know that reason but we didn’t come here by accident. The second comes from a quote my friend told me. "God doesn’t call the equip, he equips the called," And especially for this job, I think it’s very true. He doesn’t call millionaires or people with a lot of political power to do his work. He uses ordinary people to do extraordinary things, just because you are disabled doesn't mean you can't accomplish things, you just have to look inside a client's heart. You can physically see and be spiritually blind. If he calls you, he will equip you well!
THE SKEPTIC:
I will have been interning with EMC for over 2 months by the time I leave, and I will have talked with many girls by then, but my best memory may be of my talk with a girl during the second week of my internship. It was the first day I had been counseling in the office alone, so I was very nervous. This particular girl had been in the waiting room for a while, and when I initially met her and handed her the paperwork, she was laughing and wisecracking with her friend, completely skeptical of anything and everything we could say or offer.
Once she came into the office, though, and began to talk to me, she became an entirely different person. Gone were the cynicism and mockery, and what was left was a real, loving human heart which had taken a wrong road and had been broken. She had had a good education, and she was confidentof her financial future. Society and her friends had told her she wasn't cut out to be a mother, but with all the love and gentleness that she showed ot me while we talked, I have no doubt that she will make a great mother.
When she left the office, she was joyful and eager for the baby to come, and it was amazing and terrible to think that such a truly beautiful person could have been pressured and pushed to do something there was no need for her to do at all, and which she would surely have regretted for the rest of her life. Thank God she was saved.
~Dan
Once she came into the office, though, and began to talk to me, she became an entirely different person. Gone were the cynicism and mockery, and what was left was a real, loving human heart which had taken a wrong road and had been broken. She had had a good education, and she was confidentof her financial future. Society and her friends had told her she wasn't cut out to be a mother, but with all the love and gentleness that she showed ot me while we talked, I have no doubt that she will make a great mother.
When she left the office, she was joyful and eager for the baby to come, and it was amazing and terrible to think that such a truly beautiful person could have been pressured and pushed to do something there was no need for her to do at all, and which she would surely have regretted for the rest of her life. Thank God she was saved.
~Dan
GOD BROUGHT ME HERE:
It was a couple of days ago. She was smiling and nervous. Her name was Rosana, and she spoke in spanish, so it was easier for me.
She explained to me her situation, and she said "I need an abortion." She had a lot of problems with her boyfriend, her family, she was single with two kids, and she was only 24. Her situation was really hard. But I realized that she had a good heart, and she had faith.
I talked to her about the value of the life of her child. I said "the life is a gift from God," and she told me "God brought me here. I was going to make a big mistake here, but because you have helped me -- you have opened my eyes".
~MERCEDES
She explained to me her situation, and she said "I need an abortion." She had a lot of problems with her boyfriend, her family, she was single with two kids, and she was only 24. Her situation was really hard. But I realized that she had a good heart, and she had faith.
I talked to her about the value of the life of her child. I said "the life is a gift from God," and she told me "God brought me here. I was going to make a big mistake here, but because you have helped me -- you have opened my eyes".
~MERCEDES
AFTER-THOUGHTS:
Two weeks ago we were in front of Dr. Emily's the abortion mill -- like many times before...
Suddenly, a big group of teenagers appeared down the street. We thought that they were too young to be coming to have Dr. Emily's "services". To our surprise they went inside without hearing us because they were joking around and laughing all the time.
After a while, they came out and we were able to convince them to go to the bus where Julie and Wadija spoke with the young girl that was pregnant and showed her her baby in the ultra-sound.
They took a long, long time to talk with her because she needed a lot of counseling, she was deeply sad.
Meanwhile, Alex and Laura, we were trying to keep the rest of the group under control because they were all together inside the bus. They were so young and had very childlike behaviors so they were difficult to keep. All them were shouting and arguing about the abortion. They had a lot of different and confused opinions so we tried to clarify some things...
Despite Julie and Wadija giving a very dedicated counseling with the girl for a long time and she was pretty convinced about keeping her baby. Unfortunately she went ahead and had the abortion anyway. We learned about that two weeks after. The reason was because her boyfriend pressured her too much lot and she couldn't endure.
The nice part of the story is what we learned that yesterday.
Again in front of Dr. Emily's, when two friends of her came looking for us, they explained to us the sad story of the other girl, but they came looking for us because another girl from the group got pregnant and she remembered us...
From Wadija and Julie's words, they came looking for help because they didn't want to finish the new baby's story like the other...she wanted to keep it and go ahead with her pregnancy!
~ALEX and LAURA
Suddenly, a big group of teenagers appeared down the street. We thought that they were too young to be coming to have Dr. Emily's "services". To our surprise they went inside without hearing us because they were joking around and laughing all the time.
After a while, they came out and we were able to convince them to go to the bus where Julie and Wadija spoke with the young girl that was pregnant and showed her her baby in the ultra-sound.
They took a long, long time to talk with her because she needed a lot of counseling, she was deeply sad.
Meanwhile, Alex and Laura, we were trying to keep the rest of the group under control because they were all together inside the bus. They were so young and had very childlike behaviors so they were difficult to keep. All them were shouting and arguing about the abortion. They had a lot of different and confused opinions so we tried to clarify some things...
Despite Julie and Wadija giving a very dedicated counseling with the girl for a long time and she was pretty convinced about keeping her baby. Unfortunately she went ahead and had the abortion anyway. We learned about that two weeks after. The reason was because her boyfriend pressured her too much lot and she couldn't endure.
The nice part of the story is what we learned that yesterday.
Again in front of Dr. Emily's, when two friends of her came looking for us, they explained to us the sad story of the other girl, but they came looking for us because another girl from the group got pregnant and she remembered us...
From Wadija and Julie's words, they came looking for help because they didn't want to finish the new baby's story like the other...she wanted to keep it and go ahead with her pregnancy!
~ALEX and LAURA
Thursday, July 31, 2008
MIRACLES HAPPEN:
Some of the girls that come into our offices already have their minds made up. They have decided that they want to get an abortion and they have hardened their hearts to hearing the truths that we try to tell them. They don’t want to hear about the procedure, or learn about the risks, or even see their baby on the ultrasound screen. There is nothing that we can say that will reach them. When this happens, we have to give the girl over to God and trust in him to get through to her.
A girl like that came into our Brooklyn clinic, completely set on aborting her baby. She wasn’t moved by anything that any of the counselors said, or responsive to their offers of free help. When she had the sonogram, the baby was very active, squirming and turning and sucking her thumb. The girl listened to the heartbeat with a disinterested expression, waiting for the sonogram to be over. As the counselor stood there, she began to pray to God, asking him to tell her what he wanted her to do.
She told us that the thought went through her head like a streak of lightning, “Ask her to hold her baby’s hand”. She didn’t know what that meant or how to accomplish it, but she felt compelled to ask the mother to do so. She asked her to put her hand over her womb and the girl skeptically complied. The instant that she did, the baby stopped it’s movement and those in the room watched in shock as the ultrasound showed the baby lift her tiny hand and place it on the wall of the uterus, right underneath the mother’s own palm. The mother instantly got tears in her eyes, as did everyone else watching the screen. The baby continued to hold it’s hand up, and when the ultrasound was over, the mother and child were still holding hands.
That baby is still alive, not because of anything that we said or did, but because God knew exactly how to touch her heart, and He allowed us to be a part of it.
~Jenna
A girl like that came into our Brooklyn clinic, completely set on aborting her baby. She wasn’t moved by anything that any of the counselors said, or responsive to their offers of free help. When she had the sonogram, the baby was very active, squirming and turning and sucking her thumb. The girl listened to the heartbeat with a disinterested expression, waiting for the sonogram to be over. As the counselor stood there, she began to pray to God, asking him to tell her what he wanted her to do.
She told us that the thought went through her head like a streak of lightning, “Ask her to hold her baby’s hand”. She didn’t know what that meant or how to accomplish it, but she felt compelled to ask the mother to do so. She asked her to put her hand over her womb and the girl skeptically complied. The instant that she did, the baby stopped it’s movement and those in the room watched in shock as the ultrasound showed the baby lift her tiny hand and place it on the wall of the uterus, right underneath the mother’s own palm. The mother instantly got tears in her eyes, as did everyone else watching the screen. The baby continued to hold it’s hand up, and when the ultrasound was over, the mother and child were still holding hands.
That baby is still alive, not because of anything that we said or did, but because God knew exactly how to touch her heart, and He allowed us to be a part of it.
~Jenna
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