She Loved Her Baby Part II

Finally, last week she answered one of my calls. I already knew what she was going to say. After all the counseling, hours of listening, and simply being her friend, I knew that it had all come down to this.

She had too many complications with keeping her baby boy. There were too many problems with the father, the mother of the father, her own career being jeopardized. These are all the reasons as to why she did not keep her baby. Abortion seemed to be the best fit for her situation.


HOWEVER.

Why is it that when we talked, she told me she was in the deepest depression she has ever been in? Why does she tell me that she has never had suicidal thoughts until now? Why does she tell me that physically, she is experiencing the most excruciating pain she has ever gone through?

I can think of a couple of answers. But one that sticks out the most that brings literal tears to my eyes, is that "Jesus came so that we could have life and have it more abundantly". So when we choose death over life, everything is messed up. It's not how God intended it to be. It's going against God's design for our nature.

That is why her pain was so deep. That is why she had 2 vivid nightmares after her abortion that she said, she'll never be able to get out of her head. And that is why her very words to me were "Abby, I didn't want to do it. But I had to. I had to".

Please understand that as I'm writing this for your reading views, I have tears streaming down my face.

When I finally was able to talk to her after a whole month of trying to call her because she wasn't responding to anyone's phone calls, I couldn't stop crying after she told me she got the abortion. She said things to me like "Abby, you were closer to him than anyone other than me. I wanted you to be his godmother if I were to have kept him. You fought more for him than anyone else. I wanted you to hold my hand when I went to get it done,but I know you don't support that. I'm so sorry Abby. I'm so sorry that I have done this to you ".

We are going to meet up sometime this week. I want to just give her a big hug, and let her know that I am here.

It's hard to get "that day" that she went through out of my head. I can just picture the whole thing. The waking up that morning, the smell of cold outside, the bended knee to tie the shoes, not wanting to go where she went. The sitting in the waiting room, not wanting her name to be called, but thinking "I have to".

God is here somewhere. In the midst of all this pain from the both of us, He is here. I trust it.

Thank you for reading.